Kids quotes

[Spoon]

I picked by kids up from after school club yesterday and my son (aged 7) asked if he could go on the computer when we got home. I said he could. He replied "Thanks dad. You are the best dad ever.... if mum ever gets another dad I WILL NOT BE HAPPY!!" He couldn't understand why I was laughing so much.

 

[trev]

My nephew was about 6 and had found a book at school, it was the funniest thing ever because on page XX the penis ejacutlated (or as he put it educated) sperm into the vagina. Nothing had ever been so funny in his little life thus far, after a while he asked me if he could ask me something which of course I said ok to.....
"Uncle Trev have you ever had sex with a woman"
How the hell I kept that car on the road I'll never know.

 

[Earthstore]

In a shop with my daughter when she was about 5 when she walked up to a rather large chap whose un-tucked shirt was hanging out (looked kind of like a tent), she tapped him and said you have a big belly, I said "SOPHIE", then she said "but Dad he has"..

Just picture the scene, or should I get my coat?

 

[Marvo]

My oldest son came home after an afternoon at his granny's house, he was about 3 years old and was telling us about a book he'd been reading. In the book he'd seen what sounded like a 'fu**ing-s41t'. The first time he mentioned it I just looked at wifey and shrugged but several other mentions about the same thing resulted in a call to Granny to find out what on earth he was talking about. Even Granny was stumped for a while but phoned us back again when she'd figured out it was a picture of a 'Viking Ship' in the book that had got his attention, she'd told him what it was but obviously he didn't quite get the pronounciation.

 

[Kamikaze]

When the youngest was about 6 or 7 years old.

No 3 child: Dad!!!
Me: Wot No 3?
No 3 child: Um, I just love it that your my dad!!!

They don’t come much better than this.