Hi all
Just wanted to put this out there to see if there is any other sparks that struggle with this. I have suffered from OCD/anxiety for many years now since I was really young. Over the years it has got worse and worse it can jump from anything that I worry about . I don’t have OCD where I go around cleaning everything. But I have OCD where I can’t leave things without checking all the time that I have done it correctly, but the more times I check the less blurry and less sure I am that I have done it correctly. I can come away from a job and worry that I have left switches off, cables exposed and worry that someone is going to get hurt from my work. I then go over and over in my head yeah you did screw everything back and you did check before you left. But can’t convince myself that I have. Now through out my time as a spark, I studied more done more courses etc etc and this has made me become more knowledgeable but with the more knowledge and experience I get the worse my Anxiety gets as I think back to jobs I down years ago and think oh I’ve done that wrong, oh I should have done that, oh how did I do that instead of that. Now this is when I was in my final years of apprenticeship and when I just came out of my time. This is sometimes down to bad advice from other sparks and not really looking into things myself but when I do find out the advice is wrong and should be doing things the other way. Or just not knowing any better but over the years I have gained more knowledge which is making my anxiety worse as I go over every job I’ve done scrutinise it and start worrying that someone is going to get hurt or fire break out due to the works I have done. This worry will keep with me for a while until my anxiety starts to ease off. Until the next flare up. I just wish I could start my time over again and do things the way I want to do them but this is a OCD trait wanting everything to be perfect. Just wanted to see if there are any other sparks that suffer this way. Thanks in advance ?
Just wanted to put this out there to see if there is any other sparks that struggle with this. I have suffered from OCD/anxiety for many years now since I was really young. Over the years it has got worse and worse it can jump from anything that I worry about . I don’t have OCD where I go around cleaning everything. But I have OCD where I can’t leave things without checking all the time that I have done it correctly, but the more times I check the less blurry and less sure I am that I have done it correctly. I can come away from a job and worry that I have left switches off, cables exposed and worry that someone is going to get hurt from my work. I then go over and over in my head yeah you did screw everything back and you did check before you left. But can’t convince myself that I have. Now through out my time as a spark, I studied more done more courses etc etc and this has made me become more knowledgeable but with the more knowledge and experience I get the worse my Anxiety gets as I think back to jobs I down years ago and think oh I’ve done that wrong, oh I should have done that, oh how did I do that instead of that. Now this is when I was in my final years of apprenticeship and when I just came out of my time. This is sometimes down to bad advice from other sparks and not really looking into things myself but when I do find out the advice is wrong and should be doing things the other way. Or just not knowing any better but over the years I have gained more knowledge which is making my anxiety worse as I go over every job I’ve done scrutinise it and start worrying that someone is going to get hurt or fire break out due to the works I have done. This worry will keep with me for a while until my anxiety starts to ease off. Until the next flare up. I just wish I could start my time over again and do things the way I want to do them but this is a OCD trait wanting everything to be perfect. Just wanted to see if there are any other sparks that suffer this way. Thanks in advance ?