Police Officer

[saveloy]

How do you tell the difference between a UK Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?



By posing the following question:

Scenario Question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.What do you do?

Scenario answer from a UK Police Officer:
Well, that's not really enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he would be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-9-9? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour. If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself? If I shoot him, and lose the court case does his family have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility, and will I lose my family home?


Scenario answer from an Australian Police Officer:

BANG !


Scenario answer from an American Police Officer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice grouping dad, were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

 

[ian.settle1]

How do you tell the difference between a UK Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?



By posing the following question:

Scenario Question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.What do you do?

Scenario answer from a UK Police Officer:
Well, that's not really enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he would be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-9-9? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour. If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself? If I shoot him, and lose the court case does his family have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility, and will I lose my family home?


Scenario answer from an Australian Police Officer:

BANG !


Scenario answer from an American Police Officer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice grouping dad, were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

 

[acat]

Very good told my brother that one and he has a personal message for you:-





YOURE NICKED




Chris

 

[saveloy]

Very good told my brother that one and he has a personal message for you:-





YOURE NICKED




Chris

It was sent to me guv honest, don't nick the messenger.

On a serious note, I got a lot of time for frontline police, it's their politically correct superiors that need a P45.

 

[super_stuey]

It was sent to me guv honest, don't nick the messenger.

On a serious note, I got a lot of time for frontline police, it's their politically correct superiors that need a P45.

Or a Glock .40

 

[Des 56]

If it wasn't as near as possible to the likely truth
I would have given it another green man laughing

 

[kung]

Now that was funny !

 

[SirKit Breaker]

How do you tell the difference between a UK Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?



By posing the following question:

Scenario Question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.What do you do?

Scenario answer from a UK Police Officer:
Well, that's not really enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he would be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-9-9? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour. If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself? If I shoot him, and lose the court case does his family have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility, and will I lose my family home?


Scenario answer from an Australian Police Officer:

BANG !


Scenario answer from an American Police Officer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: "Nice grouping dad, were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

BRILLIANT, that just about sums up this country.

 

[scotsparky]

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE​

WHEN YOU'RE OLD​

AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.​

Phillip Hewitson, an elderly man, from Norwich UK, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, Six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Hewitson`s' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to Phillip, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
Phillip said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

(True Story) I LOVE IT!​

Don't mess with old people​

 

[Jason Smith]

Sorry to butt in, but I apperently am not allowed to post new threads, can someone tell me how please ? - Then as an ex officer of 25 years I will spill the beans !!

 

[robsparky1975]

Sorry to butt in, but I apperently am not allowed to post new threads, can someone tell me how please ? - Then as an ex officer of 25 years I will spill the beans !!

did u read the one about uk,aussie an yank cops lol,a bit of a career change after all that time then.