Don't worry, this is one of those stepping stones that alot take a while to get then it just clicks.
Potential Difference is really just the voltage that exists between 2 chosen points, so it can be the Live wire and Neutral or the Live and earth. The example of a bird on a live overhead wire is simple to explain, as the bird is not bridging 2 points with a potential difference then the voltage will not pass through the bird, the voltage will take the path of least resistance so if both its feet are on the wire then their exists no potential difference between it left foot and its right foot so no voltage will flow throw the bird, if however the bird had one foot on live wire and one on an earth point then because their exists a PD between these too points then provided the voltage is high enough which is usually the case on overhead lines the the current will flow through the bird and fry it.
With regard to the pylons when you see birds on the top wire then this is an earth wire that ensures the pylons remain the same earth potential and no step voltages are created between pylons which could see currents flowing through the ground between pylons, birds tend not to use the phase wires to land on for other reasons like the massive fields present around the wire and possible line hum.