Salesman Patter!!!!

[phil_davison]

Evening gents,

Conducted a survey today on a domestic property in Middlesbrough. Whilst having a chat with the potential clients I was asking how the quotes have been going so far, and came up against probably the best salesman bull I've ever heard.
For obvious reasons I'll not name and shame the company to be honest I dont think it matters as their not MCS or REAL.

The patter goes like this......
"We are using Black Sharpe 250w modules because they have the benefit of retaining sun irradiance so it means you are still generating at night" :dizzy2:

Pretty glad the clients had their heads screwed on and not falling for these utter lies. If the lies didnt seal the deal the £8,800 for 6 modules was never gonna clinch the deal.

Whats the most outrageous sales patter you've????

 

[Elmer BeFuddled]

But surely we only see the moon because of the bounced suns rays? I see nothing wrong with the salesmans patter. As long as he had his fingers crossed behind his back when he came out with that tripe/spiel.

 

[Elmer BeFuddled]

Most outrageous sales patter I've ever heard was "when North Sea Gas is online, no-one will ever get a gas bil again".

 

[trev]

Energy will become so cheap it will be uneconomical to bill for it.
That's the best I ever heard

 

[Energetic]

On a similar theme...

A new gas turbine plant on your doorstep will mean plenty of cheap energy for [INSERT APPROPRIATE CITY HERE]

 

[dansk]

Ive just recently heard "these solar panels have been especially made for you" - in the voice of Vicky pollard "wot eva"

 

[Energetic]

This heat pump will supply all your heating needs in your enormous solid sandstone walled villa...

Now that we've started work these's just a couple of small additions required, underfloor heating, two more heat pumps and a three phase upgrade, your going to love it !

 

[Earthstore]

The Green Deal will make energy upgrades available for all.(if you want to pay the high interest rates and have a charge on your property)

Regards from "The Greenest Government ever"

 

[finchy]

Green Deal ...."the biggest home improvements programme since the second world war" !! And I thought Changing Rooms with my favourite Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen was.......

 

[grantr37]

On a similar theme...

A new gas turbine plant on your doorstep will mean plenty of cheap energy for [INSERT APPROPRIATE CITY HERE]

the usual dodgy patter.....they do it with wind farms, not that they need to as they get planning permission every time anyway...."will create 900 jobs locally"......"we will give £400,000 a year to the local village community"(note to translation- to the farmer that owns the field)


what happens is they stick up 88 wind turbines, 3 miles of low ground clearance high voltage pylons, then they bgger off.....somebody in an office has a look on a laptop now and then and if something seizes up they send a few maintenance workers from 400 miles away who are there for a day, stay in digs, get drunk then leave the next day....




was reading earlier on today about a giant DC power cable that is being "installed" between Scotland and Norway..(already 2 to France and 2 to Holland)...is that so that they can dump more and more wind farms into the UK then "pipe" the electricity to Europe therefore preserving their pristine countryside for the benefit of the tourist trade?????


UK company Had bailed out of the installation of that cable for some reason or other, but the German, Norwegian and Swedish companies said they are pressing on regardless......who's getting the pocketmoney for that then??



wave power and wind turbine makers moving out of the UK to concentrate on Germany......wonder why?

 

[Energetic]

We are in the early years of the worst sqeeze on living standards in peacetime in the UK and EU, tourism will be second to our energy needs.

As it happens i thought the opposite was happening due to massive resistance i the UK to onshore wind, we're foisting wind farms onto Ireland as they're NimbY's arent quite so vocal and well financed.

BBC News - Ireland to build 'giant' wind turbines to power UK homes

 

[MicraShed]

"rip out your gas fire and replace it with an electric fan heater as you will have so much free electricity to use up...." Was advised to me by one salesperson when we were getting quotes for PV.....
Only we dont use the gas fire in summer when the PV is generating - honestly Ive generated as much in the last 4 weeks as I did for the whole of the Nov to Jan period.

 

[Eco Deal]

buy a solar panel get a rain drop panel free

 

[zeljuga]

Zero carbon footprint solution for Europe:

 

[Silly Sausage]

Most outrageous sales patter I've ever heard was "when North Sea Gas is online, no-one will ever get a gas bill again".

I can send you a list of two part numbers that will make that come true.