Thing not to do before you die.

[SirKit Breaker]

I will start the thread.

Dont slice your thumb down to the bone with a ceramic carving knife, it hurts, there is a hell of a lot of blood and mess, and the local casualty dept didnt share my sense of humour about it, they muttered things like "this sausage thinks we have nowt else better to do".

Cheers............Really stupid of Morley!!!

 

[markc123]

Dislocate your kneecap at the top of a french mountain whilst skiing, had to wait for the paramedic to come to the top on several gondola's and be put on a sledge/stretcher attached to the paramedic's, and skied/slid down the moutain to the hospital.

Oh, and being in a foreign hospital isn't much fun either.

Lads holiday a while back in Ayia Napa, "booze cruise" cut my head open on the boat 5miles out at sea, disrupted the whole "booze cruise" the boat had to turn around and there was an ambulance waiting in the harbour for me upon arrival. I was dripping with blood waiting for the boat to get back into the harbour, i was "intoxicated" so lots of blood, lucked like someone had gutted a pig on the deck haha. But yeah the Cypriot hospital wasn't much fun either, had to have several stitches in my head and i swear to this day they didn't give me painkillers or numbing cream because it absolutley killed.

Lesson : stay away from foreign hospitals, its in them that you realise the english are hated as a nation.

 

[snowhead]

Don't waste half your life on the Internet.

 

[Jonesy83]

insult the missis day after a vasectomy

i cried i really really did cry

 

[trev]

Try not to drive into a US navy missile testing range when heading for Kingman in Arizona. The lads have lots and lots of guns which they're only too happy to point in your direction while their senior guy is finding out WHAT THE ****** ARE YOU DOINGHERE SIR!!!!