Thought for the day

[spark-doctor]

Why is it that if you blow in a dogs face they don't like it.
Put a dog in a car and they want to stick their head out of the window.

 

[jeremy]

how can you find out which comparison website is best and why is there only one monopolies commision?

 

[rumrunner]

Why is it that if you blow in a dogs face they don't like it.
Put a dog in a car and they want to stick their head out of the window.

depends how you blow dogs love smelly farts

 

[Bane]

What was it "the best thing since" before sliced bread was invented?

No idea. Stumped me.

An 'act of god' is invariably something terrible such as a hurricane, tsunami, earthquake etc

'playing god' normally involves something good such as trying to find cures for diseases, and generally trying to save people

so why, whenever there is a discussion about genetic cloning etc, do 'they' always campaign against 'playing god', but when India gets flooded 'they' never say a ruddy word?

I always presumed 'Playing God' was reserved for things such as genetic cloning and euthanasia etc. Not necessarily for something good.
(Though you can argue euthanasia can be good)

Why is it that if you blow in a dogs face they don't like it.
Put a dog in a car and they want to stick their head out of the window.

Very funny

how can you find out which comparison website is best and why is there only one monopolies commision?

You don't, you compare. Because they have the monopoly on it?

depends how you blow dogs love smelly farts

Even funnier

 

[ian.settle1]

And I thought this was going to be a dig at us lucky ones born into the master race

Well we've won World Cups in both Rugby and Football and what has the so called master race won

 

[Shakey]

No idea. Stumped me.



I always presumed 'Playing God' was reserved for things such as genetic cloning and euthanasia etc. Not necessarily for something good.
(Though you can argue euthanasia can be good)



Very funny



You don't, you compare. Because they have the monopoly on it?



Even funnier

and on an unfunny theme Mr Bane, if you had cystic fibrosis or multiple sclerosis (for example) you would be wishing for the day that genetic cloning and other such 'playing god' processes found a cure (its a subject close to my heart)

i just find it curious how the religous (who are invariably hard of thinking) are always against the things that may save people, but dont say a ruddy peep when their imagined supernatural master tops another 50,000 people through a natural disaster


erm......did i go all serious and deep there

 

[Bane]

No, you didn't Shakey. Fair point.

It's like the Jehovah's. A friend of mine is, in a word, fuc*ed.

His lungs are going, his heart is going, his kidneys are going and he needs a blood transfusion.

But he's a Jehovah's so, he can't/won't let the doctors help him.

Can't get my head round it, he has his family (no kids), a wife and his friends but it's as if he's just given up...

 

[Shakey]

No, you didn't Shakey. Fair point.

It's like the Jehovah's. A friend of mine is, in a word, fuc*ed.

His lungs are going, his heart is going, his kidneys are going and he needs a blood transfusion.

But he's a Jehovah's so, he can't/won't let the doctors help him.

Can't get my head round it, he has his family (no kids), a wife and his friends but it's as if he's just given up...

Sad aint it matey

I am a firm believer that any parent who forces their poor child into a so called 'faith' school should answer charges of child abuse

your poor friend could lose his life over, essentially, old wives tales

 

[ian.settle1]

What is a Ships Electrician?

Between the innocence of infancy and the recklessness of adultery comes that unique specimen of humanity known as a Ships Electrician.

They can be found in Bars, in Arguments, in Bed, in Debt, in Passenger Accommodation and Intoxication.

They are Tall, Short, Fat, Thin, Dark, Fair but never normal.

Girls love them, Towns tolerate them, Shipping Companies support them and Calabooses all over the world provide them with overnight shelter.

They dislike Ships Food, Chief Engineers, Writing Letters, Sailing on Saturdays, the Old Man's Inspection, Work and Dry Ships.

They like Receiving Mail, Pay off Day, Nude Pin Ups, Sympathy, Complaining and plenty of Beer.

A Ships Electrician secret ambition is to change places with the Owner for just one trip, to own a Brewery and to be loved by everyone in the World.

His interests are Women, Girls, Females and the Opposite Sex.

A Ships Electrician is Sir Galahad in a Japanese Brothel, a Psychoanalyst with Readers Digest on the table, Don Quixote with a Discharge Book, and the Saviour of Mankind with his back teeth awash, Valentino with a Fiver in his pocket and Democracy personified in a Red Chinese prison cell.

No one else can cram into his back pocket a photo of his Wife or Girlfriend, 3 Unanswered Letters, a Comb, crushed packet of smokes, a Train Ticket, what is left of his Payoff and the odd Cruzeiro, Escudo, Peseta, Dollar and Franc.

A Ships Electrician is a Provider in War and a Parasite in Peace. No one is subjected to so much Abuse, wrongly accused, so often misunderstood by so many.

He has the patience of Job, the honesty of a Fool and the heaven sent ability to laugh at himself. He has the Energy of a Tortoise, Brains of an Idiot, Yarns of an Old Seadog and the Slyness of a Fox.

When he returns home from a long voyage, no one else but a Ships Electrician can create such an atmosphere of suspense and longing as he walks through the door with those magic words on his lips:

"Hello Love, I'm Home!"

The next line to this prose that never failed to follow which is classic;

"Hello Darling ...... When are you going back?"

 

[Bane]

....
???

 

[Shakey]

....
???

erm.....yeah, Wot Bane said

 

[PAUL M]

if all brides are beutifull how come their is so many ugly wives

 

[rumrunner]

if all brides are beutifull how come their is so many ugly wives

Good point

ZEN

"Master, do you know the secret of life?"
"Yes I do."
"Will you tell it to me?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"It's a secret."