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According to astronomers, next week Wednesday will occur twice. They say such a thing happens only once every 60,000 years, and, although they don't know why it occurs, they're glad they have an extra day to figure it out.

Oh please let it be me! :D
 
Have you heard about the new stana stairlift? It's turbocharged, it gets you upstairs before you forgot why you're going. :)
 
An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
 
Statistically, 132% of all electricians exaggerate and 5/4 of them have trouble with fractions.
 
It would seem that I have no useful skill or talent whatsoever. I can't even win a plumbers trade mag. :eek:
 

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