A massive thank you to phil7677

[Phil]

Oh well Phil, if you're the boy to ask, then it saves me a phone call to London Zoo. Phil, I've had a Komodo dragon illegally shipped to me and it lives in the garden. Do you reckon I can help it 'develope' a taste for a nasty horrible King Charles Cavalier? This dog, that belongs to my missus seems to have a HUGE problem with me for some reason!!!
So I've decided that it has to go, but the mutt is higher up the ranks in my house than me.... After all, he is 'better looking than me, and smells nicer' according to the missus anyway. So I was thinking of introducing them to each other when she goes out tomorrow. Whatta do you reckon?

we may laugh about having komodo dragons in there was 2 crates found at a council tip near me with the recycled food bits in the crates turned out that 1 was male and one was female looks as ken has an offspring. they will eat anything, may i bother you with the mother in law mind she might leave a bitter taste in his mouth after eating her

 

[millwall ken]

we may laugh about having komodo dragons in there was 2 crates found at a council tip near me with the recycled food bits in the crates turned out that 1 was male and one was female looks as ken has an offspring. they will eat anything, may i bother you with the mother in law mind she might leave a bitter taste in his mouth after eating her

Mother in law... even saying it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth!

 

[accordfire]

Mother in law... even saying it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth!

It seems that's one of the benefits of separation. I can tell mine to **** off, and mean it, without having to live with the consequences!

See, every silver lining has a cloud, after all!

 

[millwall ken]

It seems that's one of the benefits of separation. I can tell mine to **** off, and mean it, without having to live with the consequences!

See, every silver lining has a cloud, after all!

I take your point Bill, its almost worth getting a divorce for!!! Just to say **** off to the mouth in law. Oh the look on her face...

 

[telectrix]

am i alone in this world, then, having a mother in law who is kind, gentle, feeling, generous, helpful, knowledgeable, WAKEY, WAKEY. IT'S A DREAM!!!

 

[accordfire]

Yes, Tel - that's a dream - a MIL like that would probably be a bigger nightmare in the end - you'd never know where you *really* stood lol!

Ken - it's one of the few benefits so far mate. The demands from the Doris for money and so on are already pouring in.

Told her to do one, and tell the sorry waste of humanity she's taken up with to get off his pie key butt and find a job if she wants money.

She also didn't like it that I've told her the maintenance will be for my kids, not her. She got the hump over me saying I would pay Tesco (or Asda, or Sainsbury) for their food, clothing, and so on. And any other balance will be going into a savings account for them when they hit 18.

Apparently, I'm bitter. Fancy that, huh? Yet, I'm bitter, without having raised my voice or sworn once (yet)...meanwhile she's turned into fishwife from hell.

And for some reason, this waste of flesh she has moved in has declined my polite invitation to come round and discuss his opinions with me face to fist......FACE, dammit, FACE.

Just another way they seem to have it all their own way when it comes down to it.

 

[millwall ken]

am i alone in this world, then, having a mother in law who is kind, gentle, feeling, generous, helpful, knowledgeable, WAKEY, WAKEY. IT'S A DREAM!!!

Its alright mate, I first thought that I had the perfect mother in law. Even I will admit that for her age (55) she is a stunning looking bird, who looks after herself; but I'd happily swap her for an old dragon - who doesn't butt her bloody nose into everything. Me and her daughter have been together for 13 years, and married for 5 but I'm still not good enough for her! Her only saving grace is that she is such a wonderful grandmother.

 

[millwall ken]

Its alright mate, I first thought that I had the perfect mother in law. Even I will admit that for her age (55) she is a stunning looking bird, who looks after herself; but I'd happily swap her for an old dragon - who doesn't butt her bloody nose into everything. Me and her daughter have been together for 13 years, and married for 5 but I'm still not good enough for her! Her only saving grace is that she is such a wonderful grandmother.

Sorry fellas, I shouldn't be bad mouthing me own, as I ain't about that. I really MUST stop coming on this forum when I've had a few tins of liquid courage - but hell, unfortunately I ain't got work tomorrow. I shouldn't put her down really, as mother in laws go I could do a lot worse. And she did walk her daughter up the isle at the church. Although she did attach a very short bungy rope to the back of my missus' dress. And come to think of it now, she wore a long black dress and full length black veil. The bitch... I take back every nice thing that I said.

 

[Phil]

when did you marry my missus? you have just described mine

 

[Paul.M]

Ken I'm in the same boat. My mother-in-law is great, good looking for her age (lads rule #14, look at the future mother-in-law and that will be your future wife). Married now 7 years, happy knowing that my wife will still be fit 20 years from now. BUT I'm still not good enough.

(this post has been pasted and ok'ed with my wife and can not be used against me in a court of law or the bedroom)

 

[millwall ken]

when did you marry my missus? you have just described mine

Phil mate, don't even get me started with that. Whether you believe me or not, when we told her that we were getting married and where... I s*** you not, two weeks later the church burned down. I swear mate. However as my missus was so determined to marry in the church, where she was christened, we had to to postpone the wedding for a wee while. All Saints Church, West Dulwich, London. It burned down two weeks before we were due to formally discuss the prospect of marriage with the padre. We then waited until it was rebuilt in early 2006.

 

[millwall ken]

Ken I'm in the same boat. My mother-in-law is great, good looking for her age (lads rule #14, look at the future mother-in-law and that will be your future wife). Married now 7 years, happy knowing that my wife will still be fit 20 years from now. BUT I'm still not good enough.

(this post has been pasted and ok'ed with my wife and can not be used against me in a court of law or the bedroom)

Lol....