It's not a matter of overkill. It sounds like the nearest 3-phase of any sort is 11kV, some distance from the present transformer location. To bring 3-phase to the property, they either have to convert the existing single-phase 11kV line to 3-phase and change the transformer, or put the 3-phase transformer where the 3-phase presently ends, and run the service from there to the property at 230/400V. Depending on distance, that might either be impossible, or might involve massively more copper, so converting the 11kV to 3-phase is likely the most sensible.
11kV line is cheap, that's why it's everywhere. Your 3x 100A supply at 230/400V only takes about 4A from the 11kV line so it can be a very lightweight cable, and two of the three conductors are there already.
This is more or less how I envisaged. The red line is the 3-phase 11kV going past the location but the branch to the transformer is only single-phase, so that needs upgrading. Then the transformer gets changed to a 100kVA 3-phase one, and the overhead 230/400V cable from that to your customer, which is also single phase at the moment, needs replacing with 3-phase as well.
Seeing as your premises could be taking over 2/3 of the transformer's rating (69kVA of the 100kVA) it's not as though they are over-speccing it at your cost. Looks fine to me.
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