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Almost qualified, but low on confidence

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Hi guys, new here, I'm waiting for my AM2 result so almost at the stage of being fully qualified, but I'm lacking confidence in myself.. Looking for some honest opinions based on my post, I can handle criticism so please don't hold back!

In my wisdom I came into the trade late 5 years ago at the age of 37. Previously a tree surgeon, I came into the trade hoping for more mental stimulation and something I could diversify with in future that's less physically demanding as I get older. Its been a costly transition taking a massive pay cut as well as cost of courses, but I was looking at the bigger picture of opportunities later down the line

I have 2365 L3, NVQ, 18th edition, 2391-52 and awaiting AM2 result. AM2 aside, I passed everything without any issue, theory-wise I'm quietly confident that I may even have a better understanding than most of my colleagues. Practically I'm just OK.. I'm quite slow compared to others, I'm careful to make sure I'm doing things right, which slows me down, but time constraints make me work faster which then results in scrappy, poorly presented work. For example, lets say the average electrician will do a basic board change in 4 hours, everything neatly dressed in - if I did it in 4 hours it would look like a dogs dinner, to do it neatly would take me 6+ hours.

As for the AM2, I have definitely failed because I ran out of time and couldn't finish the S-Plan heating system, the other boys on the exam had finished with plenty of time to spare. On the other hand, I finished the fault finding with almost an hour to spare, plenty of time spare on the testing too, whereas the others seemed to struggle a bit. I don't want to be too confident, but I don't expect to have failed the fault find or testing - I'm questioning everything on the install though.

I have 5 years experience now, I can't knock my colleagues but there's been some uncomfortable times when I can see they're not impressed with my work. The downside to coming into the trade later in life seems to be that it's not economically viable to spend time teaching someone who's paid more than an apprentice, I've therefore had to teach my self many things and just try to mimic others. It can be quite disheartening as a grown---- 42 year old when most on the firm are considerably younger.

I have a family to provide for, and questioning if I should just go back to tree work, for my own self-confidence and finances. This isn't a "poor me" post, I took the decision to come into this trade and I take full responsibility for it. I kept myself positive throughout these 5 years by trusting I would improve to a certain level, I'm losing faith that day will come. My only hope would be finding a niche within the trade that suits my ability.

For context, most of my experience is in commercial, with some domestic. I would also say that on the whole I like the job, but I need to earn decent money, and I'm not worth it until I can get quicker.

If anyone has made it this far.. what do you reckon?
 
That’s interesting, I’ve had a similar experience. I’ve been on one job from start to finish in my time so far and that only happened because I kept asking the boss.. I needed it for evidence on my NVQ.

More often that not on a 6 week project I’ll be diverted to call outs at last minute for an accumulative 3 of those weeks.

What makes you wonder if you know less now? Or is it just a figure of speech? I went through a rough 2 or so months of non stop pat testing which made me lose some brain cells!

Jumping on and off jobs can be tough going when you're less than confident as every time you go back it's like a new job. that you know little about.

I've had a couple of longer jobs which I got to see through for the most part and the experience gained was immense. Had a chat recently about getting the last portfolio evidence gathered and work since has made that even more difficult, although it wasn't so long ago to be fair. Evening work is now helping gather that evidence at a far greater rate than daytime work.

A large part of learning is down to who you work with. Some are brilliant at passing on their knowledge and are a pleasure to work with, some are very skilled, but not so good at explaining and are you pick up most information through your eyes, then you have the guys who give the impression that they don't want others learning anything and the best you'll get is a shrug of the shoulders or laughed at if asking about something completely new to you. I don't get the latter attitude and feel sorry for such people - they must have either had a really bad apprenticeship or a hatred of their life in general as they tend to have nothing good to say about anyone.

Learn what you can where you can and try to keep moving forward. I don't want to leave the company I'm with, but ultimately the future will be decided in terms of what's best for me - whether that's in the form of financial remuneration or what I feel is best for me personally. Hopefully it will be with the company I've trained with, for a number of reasons, but if it doesn't work out then there's no point in stressing about it. Weigh up the pros and cons, then make decisions as objectively as possible.
 
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