Apprentice initiation

[Big n Daft]

Stink bomb under the brake pedal..............
Kipper strapped to the exhuast or heater matrix pipes........
Oh joy, could go on forever.

 

[Big n Daft]

Best one was sending the little bugger to the wholesaler for some 6ft phalopium tubes.

 

[Mr Mike]

Or being sent to the stores for an asbestos bucket to catch the sparks from the grinding wheel.

 

[johnboy6083]

im not an apprentice, but i was gotten good yesterday. a bloke (groundworks foreman) had nicked the sheath of a buried cable. he came in the plant room, and asked me to take a look. I checked it out, and repaired it with self amalgamating tape, as its was due to be ripped out next week anyway, hence why he was exposing it. As i was bent over this cable, he was aksing if i was ok repairing this live cable. I told him it was ok, as only the armour was exposed, but i then grabbed hold of it and pretended to get a bolt. He jumped out of his skin. Later the same day, the power to a socket he was using had tripped. I told him which panel to open to reset tghe breake. He opened it up, and while he was looking inside nervously, i sneaked up behind him and shouted bang. Again he jumsoped out of his skin. I went to the van to grab a drink, and when i walked in the plantroom, he got his lads to wrestle me to the ground, pin me down and gaffer tape me up. as the were trying to taope me up i was making i t real hard work, but they managed to tie me all up. They then pouredwater over me.
It was well worth it though to see the bloke crap himself, especially the cable trick. i actually lay on my back and laughed so hard my belly hurt!

 

[Big n Daft]

Best one was sending the little bugger to the wholesaler for some 6ft phalopium tubes.

Thought you'd like that Kenny.

 

[millwall ken]

Thought you'd like that Kenny.

Oh mate, even the heavily pregnant wife was pee'ing herself at that one... Spot on!

 

[Cyberprog]

To the construction trade... where serious assault is only a hilarious prank away.

 

[hillbillie]

I avoided humiliation, my dad had been an apprentice in the 1950s so he told me all the wind ups. However, in the early 1980s the best wind up I heard one of the Post office/BT apprentices on my intake get done with was being sent to the store for a bucket of blue steam. After 5 minutes searching around the back the storeman came back and said, with an intake of breath; sorry son, we're right out of blue steam but I can get you a bucket of green steam or red steam...

 

[SSOTN]

We had a lad work for us a few years back who somehow managed to qualify, despite his incredible stupidity. Were down the docks, doing a galv tube job, and he comes up and says "Where's the 25mm Galv box lids?" "Pardon...?" "The 25mm Galv box lids??? I can only find the 20mm..." This was a lad who was a good year or so out of his time. Anyhow, we tells him that the big boss man would be down shortly and he always has some in the boot of his car. "Ok, have to wait then won't it." True to his word, boss man turns up in his BMW M5, this lad trotts on up... "Alright boss, you got any 25mm box lids in the boot?", he takes a glance at us, looks back at him, passes him the keys "There is definately a few in there somewhere, have a good look."

When I was a 1st year, the lad a year ahead of me was a bit simple, so he used to get the brunt of it. The day before Christmas eve, only a few guys in on half day, Foreman brings in a big old quiz. Goes around asking dead simple questions, "Whats the capital of Ireland?" "Who won the cup in 76'?" (thats rather easy around here) until he come to this lad... "Whats the scientific symbol for Silver in the Periodic Table?" - "Ummmmmmm... Ummmmmmmmmm... Errrrrrrrrggggghhhhhh.... I don't know Pete." "YOU WHAT!? GET DOWN AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!!" and he did. And they continued until this apprentice must have done 250 press ups, and didn't once question why everyone else was getting the simplest of questions. He never did make the grade.