Can anyone top this funny situation

[millwall ken]

Hi all,
Its been a bit glum on the old forum lately, so I thought that I'd tell you of something that happened a few years ago on site - It was only talking to a mate, that he reminded me of it.
Once upon a time, at a site in West London, it was a beautiful sunny day. I was just going on a late lunch break with the Govnor and a couple of the other lads to the site canteen. Now to get to the site canteen we had to walk though the carpark.
And what do we see on the grass verge as we're all walking though it? Only one of the agency lads eating his lunch!!!
And? You ask, so what...
Except this fella was spread out on a large red and white checkered table cloth with a wicker basket picnic box full of cheeses, meats etc etc. He was eating a piece of fried chicken, and drinking a bottle of red wine - from a proper wine type glass, I might add!!!
We all stared at each other in amazement, anyway the Govnor walked over to him and asked him what he's doing. He replied 'Oh you know man, just eating lunch innit...' The Govnor retorted that 'you can't go around drinking on site though'. He then told the Govnor, to 'chill out', as it was only his second bottle. It was then that one of us noticed TWO over bottles in the bottom of the basket...
Anyway, the Govnor told him, in the nicest possible fashion that when he had finished his lunch, would he be so kind as to collect his tools and leave site.
Imagine our surprise when he turned up for work in the morning - and obviously by this time the word had spread around site like wildfire.
This time however the Boss wasn't so polite in his invitation for this fella to leave site.

 

[DurhamSparky]

classic!!

 

[grantr37]

sounds like the kind of things that happened on sites I was on......all sorts of comical people going about.....one of them told everybody that he was working to pass his time and told everyone his wife was in the TV business, they all laughed at him......he came in the next day in a Giant Rolls Royce and continued to use that car for work after that....big roller sitting in a gravel car park next to builders vans....LOL

 

[robsparky1975]

oh i say thats pims o clock

 

[DurhamSparky]

ahh! reminds me of luch time in navy!! pub = drunk = no more work!

 

[Victor]

Thats the norm here in France for the french artisans, now I know why their installs are S***

 

[bugsy]

We were installing a new comms suite for a large american stock brokers in Victoria about ten years ago, the clients IT guy came to site every other day and became very freidly with one of the mech guy's and they started to take lunch together, they came back one luch time and the clients IT guy was so stoned we had to hide him in the suspended floor void for three and a half hours,

 

[Paul.M]

Mid week payday and about 8 of us decided to treat ourselves to a pub lunch. One of the new lads went to the back of the que at the bar, he was a bit shy like that so thought nothing of it. He came to the table with a half pint if larger, finished it quickly and went back to the bar. Came back with another half? Same again, downed it and back to the bar again. He did this 5 times all together but what we didn't know until walking back to site is that he was downing a double whisky every time! He was plastered, couldn't walk straight, stank like a brewery and the foreman noticed on the way back in. All of us had to stand in a line and prove that we were not drunk but this poor lad ended up throwing up his pie and chips all over the front of the foremans porta cabin. That was that, never seen anyone kicked off site that quick and for the rest of that contract pub lunches were banded.

 

[MarkieSparkie]

Worked on a rural site a few years ago. In virtually every property I worked in I found bottles of beer and cans of larger stashed in the most unlike places eg. in the water tank (presumably to keep the beer cold), behind new kitchen unit plinths. There must have been hundreds of quids worth booze in total.
It first came to attention when I was doing a Zs on an immersion, just connected the leads, there was an almighty bang, startled I jumped backwards, what hell was that! Only to find frothy liquid dripping from everywhere, one of the hidden cans of larger had exploded due to the heat.
Turns out the the builders site foreman was an alcoholic, this was his supply and he'd been getting away with for years.

 

[adslev]

Doing a periodic inspection report on a street lighting installation in a residential park, anyway came back the next day to complete it only to be confronted by a grumpy old woman enquiring as to what we were doin, told her we were checking the condition on the lights in the hope to get her to go away, only to be accused of dimming all the street lights, apparantly the lights were alot brighter before we started our testing and it was a government conspiracy to save money by dimming the lights!!

 

[Kamikaze]

Once upon a time there were two electricians and one apprentice. The apprentice one morning brought in a rather large earth magnet unto the job. About the size of a large pizza. He then continued to try it out on various things like keys, screw drivers and so on. Then whole thing was mildly amusing for a while until he decided to try it out on a length of 2x2 inch metal trunking which was leaning against a wall. When he got within about a meter of the trunking it decided to attack him. During the fight he dropped everything breaking his wrist in the process. The magnet broke into thousands of pieces. The stress was just too much to bare and he lit a smoke to take the edge of the pain. Even before the match had hit the ground his trouser legs were on fire. Turns out that Neodymium dust is highly flammable. Now because there was some urgency in the air, Brian the other electrician decided there was no time to explain to Lee that he was on fire and punched him down like a horse. While I ruined my favourite donkey jacket smothering the flames. To this day he will swear blind that he wasn’t crying. However, when I see him in the pub and he is hammered, he still declares his undying love for me and tells the world how I saved his life. We did no such thing. We were panicking in style.

 

[Kamikaze]

Back in the day when I was still at college, our lecturer had just finished explaining an important project to our class. He emphasized that this project was an absolute requirement for passing the examine, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student's immediate family. Kamikaze, the smart --- student at the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. "But what about extreme sexual exhaustion Sir?" As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When everyone finally had settled down he responded, "I guess you'll just have to learn to write with your other hand." Ever since then I have been ambidextrous.....lmao

 

[millwall ken]

Love it mate.

 

[millwall ken]

Kamikaze, love it mate...

 

[DurhamSparky]

sweet!!