CSA -need help!!

[lobsterbob]

Hello guys

I've just had a run in with the dreaded CSA. When me and the ex split she got the house, her lover moved in and I had the 3 eldest ones living with me(one of which ain't even mine!!). Anyways fast forward 5 years outta the blue she gets in touch asking for more money - I'm sending her money for the wee one and buying shoes etc for her she's over my house 4 times a week for food etc - the daughter not the ex!! anyway but she wants more i told her to go and bury her head..... I've just walked out of court owing back payments, the csa have threatened my house, have not given me a chance to speak on my own behalf. I feel as though I've just been mugged there don't seem to be anywhere to turn. She had the affair, she got the house, she took one out of the kids and now this.... Is there anyone who can help where do i turn to - and yes i've been intouch with fathers for justice wadda load of sssssssssshhhhhhhhh.... Any advise - no I can't kill her !!! lol

 

[trev]

A lawyer would be more use than a bunch of sparkys but best of luck and I hope you get sorted

 

[lobsterbob]

hi trev1 - tried them they said you're screwed!! and they wanted 2 grand for the advice!! Hence asking a bunch of hairy harris'ed cable pullers if theres ever been a group of people whos probably been here done it - who else but you glorious people !!

 

[mogga]

is the kid resides with you more than 3 nights its classed as split BUT if its an informal arrangement its your word against here

Have you tried a group "Families need Fathers" google should get their site
or NACSA Child Support Advice for all child maintenance problems they might have a local advice group
YOU do NEED a lawer to get the facts in black and white re where Kids stay and how often they are with you also How much she got from sale of house ect Any monies you have handed over or intend to hand over get a receipt DONOT Give her cash YOU NEED Proof Buying shoes ect doesnt count worth a jot with the CSA also If 1 of the kids Isnt yours this shouldnt count but may help reduce your liability HER Livein Lover doesnt matter according to CSA
I was on old system n they didnt change me to new one ended a couple of years ago with a big settlement top them and a BIG releif for me Iv been there done that wore the T Shirt bampots view is its the MANS fault its all BLACK n WHITE with them

As for work talk to your employer and explain why you wont be doing overtime as CSA take this and average it out ie 3 late nights for 5 weeks then none for 10 weeks doesnt realy work out as CSA may only take 5 weeks with the overtime if you get my drift

 

[mogga]

Im sorry about the NACSA link they were started as a network support group obviously overtime more and more people looking for assistance has meant they have now set out charges for their assistance but will be a lot cheaper than a lawer

 

[alarm man]

go to france with the kids,jump in the back of a lorry and come back,make sure you get caught dont answer any questions,this time next week you will have a big free house,loads of money free everything,you will be loaded man..

that was tongue in cheek but,agree the system is wrong been thru that,go to lawyer spend a fortune,all you get is 'oh your dad,you have no rights'that will be 2k thanks

 

[ian.settle1]

She must be claiming benefits as when my ex and I split up she went to them and was told there was nothing they could do as she was not claiming any benefits (not counting child allowence from the government).

I cannot see how you where not allowed to speak in court unless you did not turn up.

You have to pay a maximum of 15% of your take home pay for one child but as Mogga says if you can prove that the child stays with you for 1 night a week this decreases by 2 %.

Court orders have been overturned by the CSA as at one time the was a spate of fathers committing suicides as the CSA said you owe your wife £--- which was more than they earned which is why the was talk off winding the CSA up and starting a new agency to carry this out.

 

[Nolnoc]

My heart goes out to you mate. I've had four years of it and depending on how vindictive your ex is prepare yourself for years more of it. My ex is the Queen of bitches.
All I can say to to is stick with it as best you can,when the kids reach a certain age they will make their own mind up, and get a hobby to take your mind of it, it could drive you insane,nearly happened to me
Good luck

 

[mattmoo1974]

If the kids stay with you mate i cant see you ll have to pay her much at all.
A good friend of mine is having the same hassle.. If the kids stay with him for 4 nights a week her payments go down..
Them staying 4 nights a week was fine til she realised this..
Snake with ---- the lot of emm!!!!

 

[alarm man]

but dont use the kids to save money,have them when you can regardless of the cost,sometimes id pay money to have the eldest stay with me,but the ex and the FAMILY try to turn her against the rest of us,sad bassers the lot of em,kids are kids dont get into a slagging match with the ex and her lot,real men walk away from abuse with their head held high..