As there are so many Geordies and Geordie talk on this forum i thought you may like Glawster speak. This is about 30 years old but not a lot has changed!
WELCOME TO GLAWSTER
The first point that all tourists must learn is that this is not Gloucester at all, but GLAWSTER, and is situated north of Bristow and south of Chewksbree and Burmagum. The accent is simple and easy to follow, provided you cut out this article and keep it about your person at all times during your stay here.
First transport hints for travelling during your stay. The best way to get around is aboard a large green vehicle called a “buzz”. These are found at “buzz tops”. At a buzz top you “ketch yer buzz”.
ATTRACTIONS
Once in the city centre known as “up the town”, attractions include the “po stoffice where you can buy “post lorders”, stamps, etc. Ladies in front of you may be holding children in there arms, - these are known as “babbees”. The “po stofice” is open all week to “Sardee”, but never on a “Sundee”. The same is true of “cwop stores” and the well known shop “Sainbriz”.
FOOD
The correct way of saying that you are hungry is “ant add nutten teat all day”. A suitable reply is “ant ya?”. To satisfy your hunger you have to find a place where you can get “summet teat”. When you find one you say “yer tiz”. If its a self sevice place you greet the owner with the phrase “how be”. He will reply “notsa bad, an you?”. Indicate the food you want by saying “ail have some o them chips”. You should always say “them” instead of “those” and “er” instead of she”. Hence the phrase “er et all them elvers on Sarde”. Similarly “im” is used instead of it”. For example “wers me wheelbarrow ? I ad im yesdee”.
Questions begin with the words “Wer”, “Ooo”, “Ow” etc.
Answers are “Tis” (positive) and “Tent” (negative). The word yes has been abolished in Gloucester and replaced by “Ash”! If a local is not certain whether a thing “tis” or “tent” he will be non-committal and say “spexse”, “praps” or “spose”.
Occasionally words are added to the end of sentences to form a question such as “ennit”.
Example; “Good up yer, ennit?” Another such word “canus” as in “can’t do tall at once, canus?”.
In Gloucester you must remember that you never go To a place, but Up it. So you should say “up the doctors”, “up the library”, “up the vets” and “up the bingo”. Housewives are often seen going “up the shops”.
People and things you like should be referred to as “proper good”. You also use the word “proper” when you want to emphasise another word, as in “them cockles was proper tasty”. Strangely, you can be “proper drunk” and “proper devil” too.
If you stop liking someone then you have “gawn awf im”. Mouldy cheese is also described as “gawn off”. If during your visit your health goes “awf”, be sure to get a doctors “sustificat”.
The nicest compliment you can pay pay people you are fond of is to describe them as “dead”, as in “dead good”, “dead generous”, etc. A cheerful youngster is “a dead appy babbee”. It is also possible to be “dead lively” and “dead awake”.
Now try these phrases for practice; “I sin im yesdee”, “me babbees lost er at”, “tent right”, “tis”, “praps”, “praps not”,” gives un yer”, “werya bin”, “werya think”.
When you leave Glawster you say ferwell to your hosts by shouting “ta laas” at them many times. Preferably this should be done late at night to the noise of car doors slamming and the sound should be loud enough to carry four times round the block. To your “ta laas” they shout the traditional Glawster phrase “seeya gen”.
