Funniest TV or film quotes......

[Spoon]

It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.

You beat me to it. I was going to put "Pining for the fjords?!?!?"

I quite like "All right... all right... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans done for us?"

Had to add this one:
Pontius Pilate: Hm! Now, what is your name, Jew?
Brian: Brian, sir.
Pontius Pilate: Bvian, eh?
Brian: No, no; Brian.

 

[Guest55]

"He's not the mesiah , he's a very naughty boy"
;-)

 

[Spoon]

Ohh! What wouldn't I give to be spat at in the face! I sometimes hang awake at night dreaming of being spat at in the face.

 

[Kamikaze]

Harold Steptoe: “You dirty old man!”

 

[Geordie Spark]

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. (Groucho Marx)

 

[firespark]

I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the **** can he get away from? - Vincent. Snatch.

(the whole scene in the stolen car. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50Zbz_weDgQ)

 

[Adam W]

"If you don't like your job you don't strike, you just go in every day and do it really half-arsed. That's the American way."
(Homer Simpson)

The Simpsons - Half---- Work Ethic - YouTube

 

[Geordie Spark]

Infamy, infamy ...... they've ALL got it infamy!! (Kenneth Williams - Carry On Cleo?)

 

[telectrix]

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. groucho marx

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my fwend in wome, biggus dickus.

 

[Adam W]

"Well, I wouldn't argue that it wasn't a no holds barred, adrenaline fuelled thrill ride. But, there is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork."
(Hot Fuzz)

 

[Geordie Spark]

"Never give a sucker an even break" - W.C. Fields.

 

[Geordie Spark]

Start every day with a smile and get it over with - W.C. Fields

 

[Adam W]

Francine: "You ruined everything!"
Stan: "Everything? (imitates police siren) Oh, that's the Hyperbole Police coming to take you away, and lock you up in Exaggeration-traz. I think I made my point. Eloquent."
(American Dad)

 

[spidersparks]

Roice Williams :- you guys said your Japanese?
Bo duke :- we converted!
(Dukes if Hazard)

Junior :- daddy my hat fell off!
Sherif justice:- I hope your god dam head was in it!
(Smokey and the Bandit)

 

[Darkwood]

Hey! hey! hey! Calm Down!....whats up wi you ...yer taken something you shoudn't er?

Harry Henfield - 3 scousers on the coach trip