I know everything.

[Pete999]

I remember him when he played left back for Bethlehem

 

[Kamikaze]

I’m no Jesus but I’m old enough to remember him. When we was little, he was called Martin but he had a fetish for leaving the barn door open. His dad Soft-Lad used to shout: “Jesus Christ shut that door.”
Never knew that Soft-Lads nickname was Joseph. Every day is a school day!
We had a last supper for the condemned man. I remember John, Matthew and Simon dancing on the table. Peter was playing the air guitar. Thomas was trying to stop Judas from becoming a traitor, and Philip always had to explain the jokes to Andrew. Jesus came back from the chippy with the Kebabs’ and went mental. Mumbled something about turning one bottle of water into wine and we got rat-assed without him. That was just a cracking stag do! Of cause it all kicked off the following day but that is a story for another day.

 

[tidyboiler]

My dad was a carpenter........................ and my mother's name was Mary......................... :whatchutalkingabout

 

[Kamikaze]

Yeah, but did she have a little lamb?

 

[telectrix]

she gave it to des.

 

[Geordie Spark]

My dad was a carpenter........................ and my mother's name was Mary......................... :whatchutalkingabout

Yep ... every Sunday for dinner.

 

[snowhead]

My dad was a carpenter........................ and my mother's name was Mary......................... :whatchutalkingabout

The Carpenters were called Karen and Richard, you sure you weren't adopted and nobody told you?

 

[7029 dave]

HA HA great!!

 

[telectrix]

and i always thought they were called anorexia and dipstick.

 

[tidyboiler]

Yeah, but did she have a little lamb?

She did actually!!!!! It was called Larry and followed her everywhere when she was young. :sunny:

 

[tidyboiler]

The Carpenters were called Karen and Richard, you sure you weren't adopted and nobody told you?

Oh no, I'm definitely not adopted....................... I'm 'orrible!!!! Nobody would have adopted me, just ask Geordie. :ninja:

 

[longboat]

Oh yea Joseph
He must have been the most gullible man ever.
His virgin misses ends up pregnant, she gives him the story about sleeping with god. She's happy to stay in a barn ( I know my misses would insist on a premier inn at least)
It's so unbelievable, someone should write a book on it, I think it would sell well ?
I though Jesus worked down the chip shop ? Or was that Elvis ?

If Jeremy Vile was about in 33 BC, a lie detector and DNA test would have been done and no one would have heard of the bible.

 

[ifindoubtdont]

Nobody is perfect. Only once did I ever think I was wrong, But it turned out I was right.