.My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that ... 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection ... but she did.
Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." "F--k that" says Mick, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"
Spent £40 on eBay last week for a penis enlarger. Just opened it and some *******'s sent me a magnifying glass!
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you are reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said "I would like to come back as a cow." I said "You're obviously not listening."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection ... but she did.
Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." "F--k that" says Mick, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"
Spent £40 on eBay last week for a penis enlarger. Just opened it and some *******'s sent me a magnifying glass!
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you are reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said "I would like to come back as a cow." I said "You're obviously not listening."
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
