Oops I really wish I hadn't.......

[ian.settle1]

yeah done three tours down there, think Dinosaur has had his share as well, you been then Ian?

On the Uganda when it was trooping between Ascension and Falklands of a place only time I've seen horizontal snow.

 

[IrishSparks]

As an apprentice I was drilling through a wall...
I was wondering why it was taking so long as it was only a 4inch wall,I pulled the drill bit back out to see was it blunt when out with the bit came this trickle of water through the hole
I had just drilled through a hot water cylinder...The whole place flooded!!!

 

[oneyearwonder]

i knew there would be some crackers in here, next time we have a bad day at work, lets just take a moment to reflect on others msfortune, while fighting the laughter-induced incontinence!!!!!!
Keep going, i'm starting to think this could be like a confessional; repent, and ye shall be saved!!!!!!!!!

 

[MRES]

I saw an apprentice bring a cherry picker down onto a sprinkler system in a factory that makes ball bearings for Honda etc. He totalled all the machinery, gaffer said it cost insurance £600k !! Site foreman took the wrap and said he was driving cos the apprentice did`nt have IPAF then the gaffer gave the foreman £200 ! cos if he hadnt taken the wrap and had told the truth insurance wouldnt have paid out !

 

[Shakey]

On the Uganda when it was trooping between Ascension and Falklands of a place only time I've seen horizontal snow.

you got it Ian

the most pointless lump of desolate rock i have ever been to

jeez what a hole

i remember the early days, lying on a bunk, listening to a friggin' darts match on the radio, or a netball match from the one and only school

and recorded TV - so what do the 'authorities' play on the broadcast TV on Sunday afternoon, for 2 and half thousand squaddies, sailers and airmen 8 thousand miles from home? the latest Bruce Willis or Sly Stallone? Perhaps a re-run of some big match or fight? No - we got 3 and half hours of the nutcracker suite from the childrens royal ballet. AND we watched it!

 

[Spudmiester]

While an apprentice we were putting in a new fire alarm system in a factory, whilst pulling a pyro into the boiler room it hit the lever which operated the CO2 for putting out any fires in the boiler room.

Fastest exit ever from the boiler room, went and told a fitter what had happend to which he replied 'No problem we test a bottle every so often' my answer was 'One bottle maybe but we have discharged the f****** lot' (a total of 15 bottles) he replied our fault you told us you where going in there and should have put the safety pin in to stop this happening while working in there.

Met up with him a few years later when I moved house and joke about it often when where in the pub.



Do you know who Red Adair was spudmiester?

Yes I do Ian, he put out Piper Alpha if I recall, and there was a film about him staring John Wayne.

Do you know who Green Adair is Ian ?

 

[ian.settle1]

Yes I do Ian, he put out Piper Alpha if I recall, and there was a film about him staring John Wayne.

Do you know who Green Adair is Ian ?

His brother

you got it Ian

the most pointless lump of desolate rock i have ever been to

jeez what a hole

i remember the early days, lying on a bunk, listening to a friggin' darts match on the radio, or a netball match from the one and only school

and recorded TV - so what do the 'authorities' play on the broadcast TV on Sunday afternoon, for 2 and half thousand squaddies, sailers and airmen 8 thousand miles from home? the latest Bruce Willis or Sly Stallone? Perhaps a re-run of some big match or fight? No - we got 3 and half hours of the nutcracker suite from the childrens royal ballet. AND we watched it!

!

Victory pub in Stanley on a sunday open fom 12:00 to 13:00hrs only

 

[Spudmiester]

His brother

No actually , its his Irish cousin, who when Red is not available will help out.

Green put out the Iraqi oil fires, the story goes like this.......

Reds phone rings one day and its the UN wanting the fires in iraq put out.
'Sorry too busy' says Red, 'But ring my Irish cousin, Green Adair'.

So Green Adair agrees to do the job, and gathers his trusty mates up in an old tranny van, and off they set to Iraq.

In the Iraqi desert, the top brass from the UN wait patiently for Green to show up,oil wells burning in the background, then, a speck of dust appears on the horizon, it gets bigger and bigger until they realise its an old tranny van going like the clappers !
The van does not stop, it drives into the flaming oil wells, and out of the back jumps all Green Adair's trusty fire beaters, who beat the flames out with their donkey jackets.
When all the flames are out, the very burnt and very tired Green Adair team go see the UN top brass for the pay cheque, and are asked what they are going to spend it on. Cars?, Holidays?, Women ?
'No' says Green 'The first thing I am going to buy, is a new set of brakes for that f***ing tranny van'!!!!!!!

!!!!!!

 

[Dinosaur]

His brother




Victory pub in Stanley on a sunday open fom 12:00 to 13:00hrs only

Been there done that then got stopped at the half way house - half way to HELL!

Shakey got films 1st time i was there all we got was 4 week old recorded radio programms - radio F*&%NG 3!!!! some people have all the luck.