stupid accidents and near misses

[ian.settle1]

Lets see now

Bullet hole in left thigh,
Bullet hole in left hip,
Bullet hole in left ankle,
Chopped thumb off,
Chisel through palm,
Stab wound to upper arm,
Broken both legs, (left 5 places, right 3 places)
Broken right arm,
Broken nose.

Recently,

Dislocated shoulder,
Concussion,
Burn to hand

Sure there is more but Mrs Doc not here to remind me

Whats your nickname 'LUCKY'

 

[Carter]

Well at least we know how he derived his forum name, Jeeezus Doc how are you still alive??

The one that really shook me and made me a safer man was in a huge engineering shop. Sent to attend to an intermittent facing lathe which is basically a slowwwwly rotating four tooled cutter head used to true up the ends of large pipes pre welding. Shift had ended and there were only a few of the piece-work boys still around.
Should mention the place was a total sh!thole with stillages of razor sharp sheeting, rolls of steel sheet unrestrained, knackered overloaded palleting, f*cking oil, swarf, bar-ends and you name it scattered randomly dank and with meagre light from the remaining high flourescents that were still working. Place was a death trap for want of basic house keeping.
Anyway pinned the fault down to the ancient moving iron starter on the front of the lathe, as I took the cover off a mountain of swarfed spilled out! Right that might explain a few things! Mucked it out and re instated the power to do a quick functional test. The buttons on the starter had long since been smashed off and the operators used to use a piece of dowel poked in the vacant holes to start & stop the bloody thing! I leaned over to bring the machine's inspection lamp to get some light onto the starter and in so doing dislodged a pile of steel swarf above the starter. It fell like a shower of conductive rain into the starter, the contactor thumped in and the facing head immediatly picked up my sweatshirt and started to whinch me off my feet towards the cutter head at eye level. I braced against the pillars as hard as I physically could and the machined peeled the sweatshirt in two off my back and stopped at the neck band, it then started to lift me over the top by my neck towards immolation on the end of 4 x 6" long carbide cutting tools! FACK ME RAGGED I'M GOING TO DIE NOW! was what went through my mind, all that came out of my mouth was a strangled yelp. With about a second to go before I became dog mince I aimed one good kick at where the stop contact was and obliterated the thing. The contactor dropped out but the rotation on this big boy didn't stop immediately and it was another half a rev before it finally came to rest.
Machinery is unforgiving, it just doesn't care. What it did do was plant a little electrical guardian angel on my shoulder and every time I'm about to thoughtlessly push a button or re-instate a supply he taps me on the shoulder and says:

"now hold on there Tonto! are you absolutely sure about what is going to happen next?"

It STILL shivers me at the thought as it rightly should, if I hadn't thought to try and operate that E-stop I'd have been chopped liver as there was no-one else around to do it. I had no right to walk away from that one.

 

[montybaber]

jeez Carter that sent shivers down my spine reading that

I was once using an angle grinder with an abrasive pad and had that moment changed from a cutting disc I had been using..the grinder snagged and grabbed my t-shirt and clamped my hand to the grinders 'on' button and I couldnt stop it! it sanded my stomach red raw before the other engineer cut the power, would have been a lot messier if i'd still been cutting

When I was apprentice I was chatting up a girl whilst working on an overhead rotating bar clothing conveyor system when my sleeve got sucked in and ripped off my jumper followed by my tshirt and left me screaming dangling half naked whilst being transported round the system lol

 

[4x4 mark]

i hope i havn't opened some old wounds with this thread but maybe i should start an other one to help with therapy in getting over these near death experiances.
and was spark-doc a moving target tech. for the sas or something

 

[Bane]

Yeah Spark-Doctor. HOW did you come to obtain all those superficial cuts?

 

[spark-doctor]

Working in country's where most people shoot first and don't bother asking questions.

Will get Mrs Doc to take some pictures of my war wounds and post them.

 

[Bane]

I think your harder than Cirrus

 

[EasyFox]

Whats your nickname 'LUCKY'

Stopping that many rounds, it should be sandbag

 

[spark-doctor]

Worst thing was, it was 2 separate incidents. First one in Sudan, AK47, 1 round in hip other in thigh. Second time in Angola,.22 pistol, 1 round in ankle.

 

[EasyFox]

Not connected to sparking but the closest I've come to pushing up daisy's was as a new shiney nig squaddie.
On the grenade range given the drill & had a practice thow using a spud, out comes the real thing screws on the detonator pulls the pin bowles the grenade...unfortunately I've never been good at cricket so this exploding plum drops just a couple of meters away. The instructor screams you C**t & we both hit the deck & get a shower of the finest Vogelsang dirt.
We both get up he stares at me I stare at him & say F*** that was close do I get another go, at which point I get the mother of all punches off him.....never cocked up lobbing a grenade again.

 

[montybaber]

I think your harder than Cirrus

 

[spark-doctor]

Not connected to sparking but the closest I've come to pushing up daisy's was as a new shiney nig squaddie.
On the grenade range given the drill & had a practice thow using a spud, out comes the real thing screws on the detonator pulls the pin bowles the grenade...unfortunately I've never been good at cricket so this exploding plum drops just a couple of meters away. The instructor screams you C**t & we both hit the deck & get a shower of the finest Vogelsang dirt.
We both get up he stares at me I stare at him & say F*** that was close do I get another go, at which point I get the mother of all punches off him.....never cocked up lobbing a grenade again.

I have a poster in the loft somewhere from Kuwait after the first gulf war. Indian welder finds a box of grenade detonators. Thinks it will be great to let one go behind his mates whilst they are having lunch. Pulls pin, goes to chuck it but it detonates the moment he lets go. Poster is of him in the operating theater just before they chop his hand off. Surgeon is holding his thumb and little finger about 18" apart.

let this be a lesson to you boys and girls. DO NOT PLAY WITH LIVE ORDNANCE.

 

[tony.towa]

Hi Doc,

I am getting worried about you, first you are going to get Mrs Doc to take photos of your bullet wounds to post on site and now you reveal you have a poster of an Indian with his hand somewhat mangled. Is there a side of you we should know about before the forum meeting?!?!

 

[Bane]

Should see the video he sent me. (No, not that type of video).
When you going to be fit for this meet then Ian?
Postponed it due to your undue care and attention at work.

 

[spark-doctor]

Tell me when and it is plane/train or automobile time.

I am getting worried about you, first you are going to get Mrs Doc to take photos of your bullet wounds to post on site and now you reveal you have a poster of an Indian with his hand somewhat mangled. Is there a side of you we should know about before the forum meeting?!?!

I am alright if i keep taking the waaaaaaaaaa, jubaaaa, jubaaaa, whoooo, giber, giber, tablets.