Things that have made you chuckle at work!!

[Knobhead]

An apprentice fresh from our own training school.
I asked him to fit conduit saddles to a line I’d drawn on a RSC, got taps and tapping drills for him from stores so he could keep them for future use, then just left him to it. Came back and sure enough there’s a neat line of saddles along the beam ready to put the conduit in. I’m chuffed and let him know how well he’d done. Asked him if he’d had any trouble tapping the holes. “No, I got a bigger drill out of your box and put Rawlplugs and wood screws in”. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The conduit was still there when I left the company 15 years later. And NO! I didn’t let on to anyone else at the time, but we would both burst out laughing when we walked past it.

 

[Guest111]

worked on a site once and a lady who was rather posh and had complained about everyone at some stage came to the house she was having built,well she got out of this Porsche with her mate and they both tottered through the mud in high heels"hey you tradesperson type creature" she yelled to me,my apprentice went white as he wondered what i would do."yes love what do you want?"I asked"how high should a breakfast bar be?" came the reply "depends how tall is your husband?" I asked "about your height" out comes tape and after a quick measure "about 22 inches" "why that?"she asked "well" says I "any lower and hour hubby,s gonna hurt his back, any higher and he,ll be on tiptoe " .Lady goes bright red,her mate stands there shaking and trying not to laugh and the apprentice is muttering about jobcentre,s, next thing she bursts out laughing"oh you are a one I never thought of that" she said.Dont know if she learned a new use for a breakfast bar that day but I was the only one on site that she never said a bad word about.

 

[needasparks]

I tried a new labourer/mate called Gary, was only young straight out of school. I asked him to get me some earth sleeve, he asked how much so i said about a foot. He thought for a moment and said he never got taught imperial at school how much is that ? I must admit i thought this was his kind of joke so i said just measure your foot and give me that much. He thought about this and his reply was but everyone has different sized feet so how can this be a foot of cable. I finished with we can call it a Gary foot of cable and make it a new metric measurement just for you. He did not make day 2 !

 

[telectrix]

funny, but true. isn't it sad though that the young ones can't understand proper british measurements. sod ther mks system. use the ytf system---- yards, tons, fortnights. the young 'uns will remember only the last of theses as dole gets paid fortnightly.

 

[Knobhead]

It’s always made me chuckle. 10½ inches of 25mm conduit, 30yds of 35mm SWA.

I’ve still got a 1 chain (22yds) tape measure. Now that would blow an apprentices mind.

 

[needasparks]

fortnights. the young 'uns will remember only the last of theses as dole gets paid fortnightly.

Thats because its a 10 days metric fortnight. the weekends are a blur.....

 

[Kiers1970]

'electricians' who earth plastic back boxes.

 

[poppypiesdad]

Worked on a site with a old joiner that did metric/imperial measurements on on length of wood , wondered what on earth was going on 2'6" and 200mm , what on earth until i spoke to his m8 when he was out to get some wood , he would use imperial from left to right and metric right to left , cause thats how his tape measure worked ???????

But he always cut the right length ......

Jamie

 

[Andy 7671]

It’s always made me chuckle. 10½ inches of 25mm conduit, 30yds of 35mm SWA.

I’ve still got a 1 chain (22yds) tape measure. Now that would blow an apprentices mind.

Semi skilled benchwork, I get hidden in a corner and told to read this American defense (sic) manual, torque measurements (I think) in foot/ kilograms

 

[hermetic]

Working in a victorian flour mill as an apprentice with one of improvers/almost qualified lads, who has a wooden toolbox for his "big tools" which he is very proud of (made it at school) the mill is five floors and we are working right at the top, so he places said tool box on the sack hoist and sends me up the rickety wooden stairs to open the backflaps on each floor (for those of you not familiar with back flaps the hoist hauls up a 2ft square hole which has non return valves on each floor consisting of a couple of boards with leather hinges which tilt up as a sack passes and drop closed again for safety) I open all the flaps and get back down to the third floor, shout down and he starts the hoist.toolbox and contents rises about two feet, the screws attaching the handle pull out of the wood, and the box returns to the flloor whils the handle and the hoist rope shoots up to the fifth and birdsnests round the hoist drum. When we had all stopped laughing we realised the mill foreman was not amused! and first job was to sort the hoist out. It is all converted into flats now. but still has the hoist in the loft. Happy days.

 

[tidyboiler]

When I worked as a receptionist in a Car showroom, the company used to service the fleet of hearses for the local funeral company. One day, the resident joker, (Car salesman) decided to liven things up a bit, so when the mechanic took a hearse out on road test, he lay down in the back........... yes........ he chose to sit up suddenly as they drove through a busy shopping centre.! Apparently, the funeral director's switchboard was jammed. :waving:

 

[johnboy6083]

youve just had me actually laughing out loud at that!!

 

[Harness69]

why are stiffs always so funny? ;-) xx

 

[grantr37]

why are stiffs always so funny? ;-) xx

Hello Harness 69, so.......here's us hoping you are a female.......otherwise its, well I .....what I'm getting at is I hope with a username like that and a set of pink cuffs as a avatar pic.......this isn't a case of surrogates or Gamer movie going on here....you know what I mean....the rollerblades.....the shame of it all.....

 

[Harness69]

Hello Harness 69, so.......here's us hoping you are a female.......otherwise its, well I .....what I'm getting at is I hope with a username like that and a set of pink cuffs as a avatar pic.......this isn't a case of surrogates or Gamer movie going on here....you know what I mean....the rollerblades.....the shame of it all.....

the guys on here are great, all so friendly, and i am learning sparks things too! bonus! xx