i=p/u I was told a long time ago
"Speak when you spoken to, listen when men speak as you may learn something, if we want your advise it won't be asked for until it is worth something"
That as stood me in good stead, and if you actually do it it may do you some good.
Think all of us on here are quite happy to help you with your problems, and sometimes your home spun humour is quite amusing, but when you start to give advice when your not capable of doing it, then I think it is wise to point this out to you.
You lads I'm afraid missed out on what I had and that was an old fart like me telling you as I was told above, this is why SW1970 asked a question on something he had never seen, and Tony and others who had seen it all before have tried to help him, and we are glad we can as that is how it should be, passing on our knowledge and experience to you lads.
Now son sit in the corner or make the tea, and the broom don't push itself around, and perhaps listen and ask us and we will tell you, honestly we will