Remove plastic van handles for zinc plated replacements, small hole on underside of chasis with a temporary link to the houses mains via crocodile clips taken from dedicated FCU to the locking mechanism. Small sound amplifier and microphone fitted alongside some sort of siren/speaker system wired to external brick work of house, when you hear the bugger squeeling, approach slowly with "big daddy" baseball bat (£29.99 argos) retro fitted with 6 inch nail, chanting the words "im going to eat your face, im going to eat your face, im going to eat your face" whilst he hangs off the door handle, shaking....wetting himself....