Work is the curse of the drinking class.
 
it was a woman that drove me to drink, and i've not yet got round to saying thanks.
 
Everything that exists has a germ of its own destruction in its very birth and anything that acts as an impediment to progress is eventually going to pose problems, there's no way you can get around that.

When you learn just how much you’re really worth, you’ll stop giving people discounts.

Learn to love rumours. You will find out amazing things about yourself that you never knew.

Don’t knock it until you tried it.

A handshake beats an autograph.

The wolf is always bigger when they’re scared.:D

Know at least one good joke.

Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.

If you HAVE to fight, punch first and punch hard.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. (But it would be a terrible way to let your child know that they’re adopted):jester:
 
Don't try and tell your granny how to suck eggs

It isn't up your backside or they would be a hump in your back (when asked if you've seen something thats gone missing)

You know what thought did, kept his dime and crapped his pants

Never assume, all you'll do is make an --- out of u and me

I've seen a bigger scart / scratch on my erse

Hit it, dinna tickle it
 
Before you criticize a man, you must 1[SUP]st[/SUP] walk a mile in his shoes. That way you will be a mile away and have his shoes.:D
 
Two heads are better than one........even if they're sheeps' heads.

Them that live the longest,know the most.

He's some man,for one man.

It only needs a bit of sh*te in a bucket of water,to make sh*tty water.

......could literally do this for hours.....will end with me pals favourite.....which he has braced every university student,working in a supermarket,since i can remember....

"What's the highest part of the human body?" ......................................................................"The hat".......:yawn:
 
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Wise old or amusing sayings.
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remer1957,
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Kamikaze,
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