Working away from home stories

[Pete999]

Bored, waiting to go out for Beer and Curry, reminded me of a time when I was working in Pakistan, working for the Government afforded me a few privileges,one which was close to my heart was the British High Commission club, basically a place to go for Beer, Curry and pool as well as Tennis if you were that way inclined.

Anyway to get to the club and back to the Hotel needed a taxi, and this is where this story gets strange, got to the club OK drank and ate my fill, they did run buses to and from the Hotel but I had missed it by about 2 hours, so you can see I was well oiled.

Tried to get a lift by any means possible, as walking home wasn't deemed a good idea, one of the local waiters told me to speak to the Guards, armed Guards, to see if they could get a Taxi for, so off I trotted in the pitch black to the Guard post, what a sight 2 old Indians complete in WW2 Battle Dress including the old .303 Lee Enfield Rifle, most Pakistanis could speak English and these two were no different. Yes Sir of course we can hail you a Taxi, it was about half past midnight, dark wide roads no vehicles, the guy with the stripes on his sleeve disappeared into his hut, came out ,"Taxi coming Sir" and in the distance two headlights appeared, matey cocks his gun walks out into the street and stops this guy, it wasn't a Taxi it was Joe public on his way home, still he gives me a lift home, wouldn't take any Petrol money, strange eh? Sorry for the rambling story.

 

[telectrix]

pete, don't get on to the tiger story. the one where the tiger leapt at you and roared. then you say " i shat myself". "what, when the tiger roared?" "no, just now, when i was telling the tale."

 

[amlu]

Years ago back in my home country got my first job after finishing school, installing weather monitoring stations for checking how much water is in the river.
Government got a Canadian company to do it, they hired local workers, but were paying us Canadian rates
They were paying a night-out allowance too, but most of the teams just built beds in their vans or were camping by the river.
Stations were mostly a tall steel pole, on top of it went couple of enclosures with electronics and batteries, sometimes solar panels too.
After couple of months many of them went out service, most of the problem were stolen batteries (nice deep cycle ones)
The design got changed, cabinets become lockable and they told us to weld all the bolts and nuts so stealing wont be easy.

One day we were installing one, got approached by the "locals", they said we should not be trying too hard securing the lot, as people will come and pull the pole down with a tractor.

 

[Sintra]

What goes on tour stays on tour, so I'm saying nothing lol.

 

[Paul.M]

Shop display lighting job for about 4-5 dozen places up North, me and the electricians mate (male), 21 years old, English Caribbean which is that good looking he should be in a boy band lol. Well, we ended up working the Newcastle area and the city center. He has never been to Newcastle so I took him out for a "nite onda Toon"..... just happened to be Mad Friday before Xmas!!!!

What a great night out :wacko:. Ladies in Santa suits showing off next weeks washing etc etc etc. I got him absolutely wrecked!!!! Good time was had by both of us (apart from the scuffle outside TGI Fridays due to a drunken work party that got us kicked out of the Gate!! It happens, p1ssed up people that dont like the look of a black man etc.... would not happen if he was sober?)

Anyway,,, the office made a mistake with the hotel booking (the one opposite the cinema) and we ended up in a king size double bed together!!! The look on the receptionist face when we checked in pmsl.. No spare double rooms (due to Xmas) so we had to bunk up with each other. Ground rules were set. It was an 8ft wide bed, no reason why we should be able to touch each other. No Farting and no "self pleasuring"....


Got to bed at 3:30am, woke up at 6:45am with Mathews arm around my shoulders whilst saying his girlfriends name (in his sleep) and his "man stick" in all its "morning glory" sticking me in the lower back!!!!!!!


Mathew if your reading this you know I will never stop ribbing you for that mate. Well, you ribbed me first :rofl:

 

[Barry White]

Shop display lighting job for about 4-5 dozen places up North, me and the electricians mate (male), 21 years old, English Caribbean which is that good looking he should be in a boy band lol. Well, we ended up working the Newcastle area and the city center. He has never been to Newcastle so I took him out for a "nite onda Toon"..... just happened to be Mad Friday before Xmas!!!!

What a great night out :wacko:. Ladies in Santa suits showing off next weeks washing etc etc etc. I got him absolutely wrecked!!!! Good time was had by both of us (apart from the scuffle outside TGI Fridays due to a drunken work party that got us kicked out of the Gate!! It happens, p1ssed up people that dont like the look of a black man etc.... would not happen if he was sober?)

Anyway,,, the office made a mistake with the hotel booking (the one opposite the cinema) and we ended up in a king size double bed together!!! The look on the receptionist face when we checked in pmsl.. No spare double rooms (due to Xmas) so we had to bunk up with each other. Ground rules were set. It was an 8ft wide bed, no reason why we should be able to touch each other. No Farting and no "self pleasuring"....


Got to bed at 3:30am, woke up at 6:45am with Mathews arm around my shoulders whilst saying his girlfriends name (in his sleep) and his "man stick" in all its "morning glory" sticking me in the lower back!!!!!!!


Mathew if your reading this you know I will never stop ribbing you for that mate. Well, you ribbed me first :rofl:

Sounds like you enjoyed being ribbed (just saying it as I see it Paul)

 

[norcal]

What goes on tour stays on tour, so I'm saying nothing lol.

Always heard it as "What happens on the road, stays on the road", sort of a twist on "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas".

 

[hightower]

just happened to be Mad Friday before Xmas!!!!

We've another name for it up here mate: black eye Friday. Sounds like you experienced why lol

 

[Kamikaze]

A gang of us worked on a medical centre in Buxton, Derbyshire. We arrived, did a days work and then hit the town later. On the way back to the bed and breakfast, Woody (one of the lads) tried to get a few of the local women to come back for a party, but to no avail. All of us just hit the sack, except for him. He spend half the night shouting stuff out of his window until the neighbours got peed off with him and told him to go to bed.
The next evening I wanted to go back into the town centre for a good time. But no one else wanted to go because they said it was boring. So I went by myself, had a few drinks but never saw any action. So I headed back to the digs. On the way back, I came across an old red telephone box which had business cards plastered inside. Being the conscientious type, I removed that filthy smut :wink_smile:. On the way down the hill, I quietly chuckled to myself while reading them. Then I came across an interesting one and decided to ring the number for a bit of action when I got back to my room. Dialled this number and a polite lady answered the phone. Told her in no uncertain terms what I was after, the address to come to and not to keep me waiting. She replied; “That’s all very well Sir and I’m sure someone will be able to facilitate all your requirements, but you need to dial 9 for an outside line.” Well, that took the wind right out of my sails…lol.

Got down to breakfast in the morning and she was in a foul mood. Almost threw it at me. One of the lads said to ignore her as she must be on a period. When Woody graced us with his presence at the table, she fired straight into him. Told him that if he couldn’t keep his pants on and conduct himself in a proper manner to find somewhere else to stay. She would prefer her establishment not to be used as a house of ill repute.
He got some serious stick from all the lads on site when they found out he nearly got us kicked out of our lodgings after only a day. And the ambience between him and the lady of the house was extremely frosty for the duration of the job…pml.

 

[Pete999]

Shop display lighting job for about 4-5 dozen places up North, me and the electricians mate (male), 21 years old, English Caribbean which is that good looking he should be in a boy band lol. Well, we ended up working the Newcastle area and the city center. He has never been to Newcastle so I took him out for a "nite onda Toon"..... just happened to be Mad Friday before Xmas!!!!

What a great night out :wacko:. Ladies in Santa suits showing off next weeks washing etc etc etc. I got him absolutely wrecked!!!! Good time was had by both of us (apart from the scuffle outside TGI Fridays due to a drunken work party that got us kicked out of the Gate!! It happens, p1ssed up people that dont like the look of a black man etc.... would not happen if he was sober?)

Anyway,,, the office made a mistake with the hotel booking (the one opposite the cinema) and we ended up in a king size double bed together!!! The look on the receptionist face when we checked in pmsl.. No spare double rooms (due to Xmas) so we had to bunk up with each other. Ground rules were set. It was an 8ft wide bed, no reason why we should be able to touch each other. No Farting and no "self pleasuring"....


Got to bed at 3:30am, woke up at 6:45am with Mathews arm around my shoulders whilst saying his girlfriends name (in his sleep) and his "man stick" in all its "morning glory" sticking me in the lower back!!!!!!!


Mathew if your reading this you know I will never stop ribbing you for that mate. Well, you ribbed me first :rofl:

So you had a good time then, didn't need to bother with the ladies by the sound of it, I'll view you ina different light from now on mate, by the way have you and Mathew become an item then? lol only kiddin

 

[ruston]

A gang of us worked on a medical centre in Buxton, Derbyshire. We arrived, did a days work and then hit the town later. On the way back to the bed and breakfast, Woody (one of the lads) tried to get a few of the local women to come back for a party, but to no avail. All of us just hit the sack, except for him. He spend half the night shouting stuff out of his window until the neighbours got peed off with him and told him to go to bed.
The next evening I wanted to go back into the town centre for a good time. But no one else wanted to go because they said it was boring. So I went by myself, had a few drinks but never saw any action. So I headed back to the digs. On the way back, I came across an old red telephone box which had business cards plastered inside. Being the conscientious type, I removed that filthy smut :wink_smile:. On the way down the hill, I quietly chuckled to myself while reading them. Then I came across an interesting one and decided to ring the number for a bit of action when I got back to my room. Dialled this number and a polite lady answered the phone. Told her in no uncertain terms what I was after, the address to come to and not to keep me waiting. She replied; “That’s all very well Sir and I’m sure someone will be able to facilitate all your requirements, but you need to dial 9 for an outside line.” Well, that took the wind right out of my sails…lol.

Got down to breakfast in the morning and she was in a foul mood. Almost threw it at me. One of the lads said to ignore her as she must be on a period. When Woody graced us with his presence at the table, she fired straight into him. Told him that if he couldn’t keep his pants on and conduct himself in a proper manner to find somewhere else to stay. She would prefer her establishment not to be used as a house of ill repute.
He got some serious stick from all the lads on site when they found out he nearly got us kicked out of our lodgings after only a day. And the ambience between him and the lady of the house was extremely frosty for the duration of the job…pml.

Priceless . That has cheered me up.

 

[Kamikaze]

Priceless . That has cheered me up.

Another one for you!

I was working on the Chelsea Harbour Hotel, then known as the Conrad. There was a news bulletin on the radio and TV that Michael Jackson had flown into Heathrow airport. They then smuggled him out through the back door. So, all the paparazzi knew he was in town but they didn’t know where he was staying. Outside the hotel were a couple of scouts looking out for him. Anyway, I got talking to one of the house keepers and as a joke told him to go up to the penthouse and wave a white glove over the balcony to wind them up. What unfolded beggars belief! Within half an hour there were thousands, and I mean THOUSANDS, of tini poppers outside screaming “Michael we love you!” The paparazzi were crawling all over the place. They were on motor bikes, in the bushes, on nearby buildings, in helicopters above and some tried to get into the building. Security went ape****! The management went out there and told them that he wasn’t there but the more they denied it, the more people came. The following day, in all the news papers was a picture of a black hand wearing a white glove waving over the balcony. The house keeper came to see me and made me swear an oath not to tell anyone, as we would both be getting the sack…lol.

 

[telectrix]

classy. love it.

 

[ruston]

Another one for you!

I was working on the Chelsea Harbour Hotel, then known as the Conrad. There was a news bulletin on the radio and TV that Michael Jackson had flown into Heathrow airport. They then smuggled him out through the back door. So, all the paparazzi knew he was in town but they didn’t know where he was staying. Outside the hotel were a couple of scouts looking out for him. Anyway, I got talking to one of the house keepers and as a joke told him to go up to the penthouse and wave a white glove over the balcony to wind them up. What unfolded beggars belief! Within half an hour there were thousands, and I mean THOUSANDS, of tini poppers outside screaming “Michael we love you!” The paparazzi were crawling all over the place. They were on motor bikes, in the bushes, on nearby buildings, in helicopters above and some tried to get into the building. Security went ape****! The management went out there and told them that he wasn’t there but the more they denied it, the more people came. The following day, in all the news papers was a picture of a black hand wearing a white glove waving over the balcony. The house keeper came to see me and made me swear an oath not to tell anyone, as we would both be getting the sack…lol.

Now I know why you are called Kamikaze.

 

[Kamikaze]

If you think that is mad, your going to love this.:biggrin:

Leaved Chelsea Harbour one night and made our way back to the digs, which were at Shepherds Bush. There were eight of us in a Ford Transit van. As we pulled up at the 1[SUP]st[/SUP] set of traffic lights, there was a cyclist in front of us. He was wearing all the latest fancy gear and multi coloured lycra to make himself more aerodynamic. Well we gave him a right ribbing for looking like a big girls blouse. The lights changed to green and off we went. Never gave this bloke another thought. We were just going past Earl’s Court Station when there was this banging on the side of the van. Well he must have pedalled like mad to keep up with us and as he flew past, gave us the V sign. What he didn’t realise in his eagerness was that the traffic in front had stopped and he plugged straight into the back of a double decker bus. I swear it’s the funniest thing I have ever seen…pml.

Oh if only we had camera phones back then…lol