A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[littlespark]

Remember everyone that the clocks go back this weekend...
unless you're dyslexic... in which case your cocks go black this weekend

 

[telectrix]

or do the blocks go cack?

 

[static zap]

or do the blocks go cack?

That describes my problems this morning !
( Early morning dyslexia )

 

[Leesparkykent]

 

[Pete999]

View attachment 45413

But I have heard a differing version, which would cause an instant ban for Pete999

 

[Taylortwocities]

Hmm. Need to change the title of this thread.

Is the thread new?
Not any more, it isn’t!

Are the jokes new?
Definitely no!

But I’m not one to complain. Where’s that Merlot??

 

[Pete999]

Hmm. Need to change the title of this thread.

Is the thread new?
Not any more, it isn’t!

Are the jokes new?
Definitely no!

But I’m not one to complain. Where’s that Merlot??

NO not the Merlot!!

 

[Leesparkykent]

 

[123]

It seems that @Leesparkykent is on the happy pills tonight

 

[littlespark]

This is best I can come up with tonight...

Lord Nelson was known to be only 5 foot 8 inches tall...
His statue in London is 17 foot 4 inches

That’s Horatio of 3 to 1

 

[MFS Electrical]

View attachment 45413

An oldie but still a cracker

 

[Pete999]

View attachment 45418

She must have been hungry.

 

[littlespark]

I hear Rick Astley has a big collection of every Disney Pixar film on DVD.
He will loan them out on occasion, but only some of them.
You can get "Finding Dory".... He might give you "Monster's Inc"

But he's never gonna give you "Up"

 

[MDJ]

 

[telectrix]

I wandered lonely as a cloud
over hills and river banks
I trod upon a fat man's arse
and a woman's voice said "thanks"