A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[littlespark]

My wife just told me to leave because I was obsessed with Only Fools And Horses...
"fine" I said "I'll fetch the suitcase from the van".....

 

[123]

 

[littlespark]

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

It's all about raisin awareness, really.

 

[Pete999]

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes....

It's all about raisin awareness, really.

That's a currant type of joke

 

[telectrix]

A.C.or D.C?

 

[Strima]

How many Plumbers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Too!

No, I mean ate!

No, won!

Err, fore?

Or is it sicks?

 

[telectrix]

How many Plumbers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Too!

No, I mean ate!

No, won!

Err, fore?

Or is it sicks?

answer is none.wet-pants should not should not get above his limited single brain cell capability

 

[gnuuser]

reminds me of the gnat hitting the windshield!
what goes through a bugs mind when he hits the windshield?

His arse!

 

[littlespark]

Aretha Franklin standing at the pearly gates singing;-
"R-E-S-P-E-C-T... Find out what it means to me...."

Barry Chuckle pops his little head up; "To you...."

 

[Wilko]

This one from the joke festival -
I sold my Hoover, it was just gathering dust ...

 

[Wilko]

Sore this ...

 

[Deleted member 72666]

Sore this ...

View attachment 43917

How sore is it?

 

[Pete999]

How sore is it?

Quite Saw

 

[telectrix]

pad saw..............dog walking on hot coals,.*%&.

 

[Pete999]

pad saw..............dog walking on hot coals,.*%&.

Circular Saw, for when you have had a bad day, or a Jig Saw for when you are out dancing, highly unlikely in our case Tel.