A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[shannonwells830]

Hahaha...a very smart engineer!

 

[Richard Burns]

Polo the mint with the hole.


Polo the mint with the non fattening centre


Llantrisant a hole with The Mint!


and remember

A forward inclination of the occiput has similar efficacy to the temporary occlusion of a single optic to a visually impaired equine.

 

[MarkieSparkie]

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten.
It's called a wedding cake

 

[MarkieSparkie]

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection... but she did.

- - - Updated - - -

 

[MarkieSparkie]

I've been phoning Stephen Hawking all day. All I get though is his answering machine!

 

[MarkieSparkie]

[TD="class: Label, colspan: 3"]There was a small boy who was put to bed by his parents. The boy had a nightmare, and got out of bed to go to his parents room.

When he got there, he saw mummy bouncing up and down on daddy. When his dad noticed him in the doorway, the kid ran away.

The mother got off and got dressed quickly, and went to the boy's room. He was in his bed, and he asked, "Mummy, what were you doing to daddy?"

The mother replied, "Well, your father has noticed his belly getting bigger, and I was just trying to flatten his tummy for him by bouncing on it."

"Oh, that's what you were doing. But you're wasting your time mummy." The boy said.

"Oh, and why is that?" The mum asked.

"Because everyday when you leave for work, the lady next door comes over, gets on her knees and blows it right back up again."

[/TD]

 

[Richard Burns]

Okay, all of you who believe in psychokinesis... raise my hand.

 

[Geordie Spark]

Did ye hear the one aboot the sparkies who thowt they wez chattin'-up a bord on a forum, but it torned oot it wez a gay gadgee??


Oh ..... hang on ... :vanish:

 

[tidyboiler]

Did ye hear the one aboot the sparkies who thowt they wez chattin'-up a bord on a forum, but it torned oot it wez a gay gadgee??


Oh ..... hang on ... :vanish:

I hear he makes all his own blouses...........:ciappa:
:heart::bow::ihih::gorgeous::001_icon16::lips::wub:

 

[Richard Burns]

A recession is when your neighbour can’t get a job
A depression is when you can’t get a job
A recovery is when David Cameron loses his job

 

[RobRuss]

it does seem quiet today?

 

[Paul.M]

it does seem quiet today?

Yeah a lot of members have been painting a fence today and waiting to see what colour it turns out when dried.

 

[RobRuss]

i dont understand? only just joined here. Paul.

 

[Paul.M]

i dont understand? only just joined here. Paul.

It was a little unfair of me to say that, sorry.

A bit of politics going on at the moment, no need to be concerned. Enjoy the forum.

 

[RobRuss]

ok, thanks Paul. reading through its been lively the past week or so..