Funniest TV or film quotes......

[Darkwood]

Thought id start a thread just for those lines or quotes you found hilarious ...
Il pick a few from my fav' over this thread which are ...

Life on Mars (Gene Hunt) and Pheonix Nights
-------------------------------------------------------
Gene Hunt.... " he's more nervous than a very small nun on a penguin shoot "
__________
Gene Hunt... " you've got your fingers in more pies than a leper on a cookery course "
__________


Not after classic quotes unless they are funny! and can you supply the source of the quote so we can all relate to what film/TV it came from.

 

[monkeyelectric]

Blackadder to baldrick, blackadder the third: "forgive me if i'm jumping the gun baldrick or are the words i have a cunning plan marching with ill deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation"

 

[telectrix]

FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

 

[Des 56]

Before I get to thinking on the subject,this thread has got to include the Dads army classic,so lets get it out of the way

"Don't tell him Pike"

 

[Darkwood]

See my profile pic ....and add when i get home im gonna punch your mamma in the mouth!

 

[Darkwood]

Pheonix Nights - Quiz night

On the dumb table....
DJ says "and the answer to question 2 was the 'shroud of Turin' "

Lad on dumb table ..."what did we get"

His mate says " Lisa Stansfield"


We never heard the question but this really cracks me up everytime lol.

 

[monkeyelectric]

See my profile pic ....and add when i get home im gonna punch your mamma in the mouth!

What we're dealin with here is a complete lack of respect for the law! Love those films!

 

[Adam W]

Another Blackadder one:
"We're about as similar as two completely dissimilar things in a pod".

 

[monkeyelectric]

Forgive me but another blackadder from blackadders christmas carol " slam the door in their faces or i'll slam your face in the door" i do love blackadder!

 

[Adam W]

"Well may I ask what you expected to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain..."
(Fawlty Towers)

 

[monkeyelectric]

Rodney" it ain't there no more Del theres just a marina" Del " well can't he kip in the back of that" fools & horses

 

[Adam W]

German: Will you stop talking about the war!
Basil: Me? You started it!
German: We did not start it.
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland...

 

[Kamikaze]

In “Only Fools and Horses” when Triggers sister was having a baby.

Mike: What name have they decided on?
Trigger: If it’s a girl they are calling it Sigourney after the actress, and if it’s a boy they are calling him Rodney after Dave.

 

[Des 56]

I may not have this one exact,but the sentiment is there

Groucho Marx
Any club that would have me as a member,I wouldn't want to join

 

[monkeyelectric]

Blackadder, Percy " oh blackadder could it be true! A nugget of purest greeeen!"