Im clearly missing something, I don't see where the joke is. Just seems he's being hounded for asking for advice.
Read the OP mate it certainly aint no joke. The way he was carrying on he must have been on a wind-up as he even repeatedly contradicted himself.
 
The thing that causes low IR readings is a low insulation resistance fault.

Split the circuit up and use your mega tester to localize.
 
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Title
Insulation Resistance
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Periodic Inspection Reporting & Certification
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andytucker,
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