Who is the 'they' in this case? The DNO or your electrical contractor?
If it's the DNO, what cable they use is out of your control. They will size their equipment according to their regulations and specs, to meet your agreed requirements which should have been calculated by the electrician before the application was made. The methods they use to size cables are different to the ones electricians use within an installation, as they have different performance specifications to meet under the ESQCR, for example.
If it is your electrician installing the said 35mm², then they should be able to calculate the cable to meet the requirements of BS7671 for whatever you have asked them to install either now or in the future. The worst case will be all demand or all generation - i.e. the maximum power that can flow in either direction. From what you have stated, the demand will significantly outweigh the generation, but is likely to be within 69kVA.
As mentioned above there are many factors built into the cable calculations, not just the load. Without all the information from a site survey, it's difficult to give a definitive answer to whether a particular cable size is suitable. 35mm² is in the right ballpark.