Is This Bad Parenting?

[OnlQQker]

So my son purchased a house. I look around it with him some months ago and noted the electrics needed sorting.
Old consumer unit (wired fuse type) no RCD protection and cables coming into from rooms in the house that look like lead?

House is 1910's



Anyway he does not want to get an electrician in, he's decided it's to expensive and he would rather save his money to buy these stupid computer games, and all this other crud they seem hell bent wasting their money on.

So, he has asked me to tell him how to do it and he'll do the rest. I mean like draw it all out and give him an instruction manual to follow, similar to what you get with an Ikea cabinet when you're putting it together.
So I told him I am not qualified and can't sign it off. But that does not seem to bother him.

SO

I own a KT63 tester, I've never used it on the 1000v ir setting yet.
I'm thinking of asking him to hold both ends as part of his electrical course and then belt out 1000v
Now I know this sort of thing goes on in college because I have spoke to many electrician who has done this, as well as having it done to them.

I know they all lived to tell the tale, where they might not of if that had been a belt from household electrics.
This would certainly give him the first lesson of 'don't mess around with something you don't understand'

But I guess I'm asking parents in the Electrical world if this is the right approach? Otherwise I'm stumped and he moves in tomorrow?

How do you explain to people just how deadly electrics can be without showing them?

It's a pain you can't describe and one that flows though your body like a million red hot knives!

 

[Mike Johnson]

You should give your son all the help he needs IMO he is your flesh and blood, don't even attempt to burn it, these days called bullying.

 

[FatAlan]

I have a brilliant dad, from a generation used to doing and fixing everything for themselves out of necessity. Helped me a lot with diy on my first house purchases and car maintenance. I remember having a manky old up and over garage door with a broken lock. When he saw it he said, I think I have a replacement lock that he’d kept from an old door he’d replaced years previously. Next time he visited he swapped it over. He’s just turned 80.

 

[telectrix]

I have a brilliant dad, from a generation used to doing and fixing everything for themselves out of necessity. Helped me a lot with diy on my first house purchases and car maintenance. I remember having a manky old up and over garage door with a broken lock. When he saw it he said, I think I have a replacement lock that he’d kept from an old door he’d replaced years previously. Next time he visited he swapped it over. He’s just turned 80.

my old man was just the same. he'd even straighten bent nails for re-use whenever. whittled bits of scrap wood for wall plugs, main concern was he'd not pay for an oil change on his car till the big ends started to rattle.

 

[FatAlan]

my old man was just the same. he'd even straighten bent nails for re-use whenever. whittled bits of scrap wood for wall plugs, main concern was he'd not pay for an oil change on his car till the big ends started to rattle.

Yep. Back in the late 70s my dads aluminium greenhouse was destroyed during a storm. He was able to claim for a new one on insurance. His dad, my grandfather, had just retired and moved in to a place just up the road. He came and collected all the twisted bits of frame, straightened them out and rebuilt it in his garden!

 

[OnlQQker]

Thanks for all of the replies. I have took them all on board and been over at his new house most of today.

It needs totally modernizing throughout, even the C/H piping and boiler. I've turned that off because when the boiler was lit their is a smell of Gas. Nothing in and outside of the house has been touched for years.
I had to do the same for my daughter with her first house. Took the staircase out at her newly purchased home and rebuilt it in such a way it put another bedroom upstairs, and made the downstairs kitchen big enough to get 4 people in afterwards. Before all of that work it was a one bedroom cluster with a one person kitchen and the biggest spiral staircase I had ever seen.

God knows what the architects were thinking?

Anyway after I did the house up for not much cost to her whatsoever, and supply half of the building materials, she then sold it for £45k profit, purchased another house and waits for me to do the same again.

I said, 'hold your horses' I owe your brother the same first.

My old man did nothing for me ever, all except for serious unconscious beatings from the age of 3 upwards. I think I've mentioned before he was very high up in a Building company as well as the church, I guess I embarrassed him because I would not follow in his footsteps, and be the big successful man
that he was, and rip off people to provide the lavish lifestyle that I grew up in myself as a kid.
Luckily though my mum was from the roughest area I have ever seen even to this day, and she grew up with absolutely zilch. Heating bricks up on an open fire, wrapping them in a towel and using it as a hot water bottle when she was growing up. I guess I carry her genes more.

It's had its price though, because for the last good few years I am classed as homeless, I don't have an address, this can and does make things difficult.
I could live with the kids, but that wouldn't be fair on them as they are just starting out in life, and having me there wouldn't exactly be easy for them. Neither of them can cook for a start off, let alone me going completely Gaga staring at cartoon like characters on a TV that they are controlling with a controller. I'd much rather just go live in the woods. Or climb Everest in a pair of Speedo's come to think of it. Anything but those computer games.

But their mum has been as good as gold since I did our daughters house up so where it all goes from here is anybody's guess.

Again thanks for all of the replies, their really are some decent people on this website and I know I go off topic every now and then, but the advice from here is solid. All of the Electricians I have met on site when younger were the only type of people that would ever talk to me.

I guess they saw the rock and the hard place I was between, because every trade and sub contractor was working for my Dad. And most of the trades could not stick me, and that's understandable now I'm older and can work it out.
But at the time it was a living hell.

SO, my son will not be touching the electrics, I've told him I had written about all of this on an electrical forum and the electricians on the forum do have the power to turn the whole house off from the main grid, therefore not only will he not be able to play his silly computer games, but he also wont be able to watch TV, have a shower, or use the outside light to see where to put his key in the door when it is dark.

I believe he has listened to me, otherwise I will have to go and locate that magic fairy main fuse puller.

I don't think it will go that far, but just in case, that's my plan....

Thanks again for all of the replies everybody!

If the mods want to close this thread because it doesn't really fit in with the main page topics then I fully understand, thanks for leaving it up this long!

 

[UNG]

I think parents will always try to do their best for their kids while at times it may not be immediately apparent that it is appreciated you always like to think and hope that it is

 

[nicebutdim]

I think parents will always try to do their best for their kids while at times it may not be immediately apparent that it is appreciated you always like to think and hope that it is

This about sums it up.

I don't think there are any right answers on the subject of parenting, but many is us have a knack for finding wrong answers.

 

[Intoelectrics]

Not my parent, but a life lesson that serves me well.
As an apprentice my first boss was my father's best mate, he was a little guy who wore glasses he smoked a pipe constantly and was often referred to as "popeye"
As a young man I resented him, I was bitter towards him and believed he was nasty and unfair. He would often (what at the time felt cruel to me) work me hard, give me all the s**t jobs no one else would do. He showed me no slack and would come down on me for poor time keeping (even a minute late), extended breaks, chatting at work... I was constantly bitter with him, he would often comment "do you hate my guts?" I'd always reply "yes" and he would walk off smiling. A few years later when I'd matured and gained some experience, I noticed that his attitude started to change towards me. A few years later on completion of my apprenticeship he came and had a chat with me.
He sat me down and said, "you know one day this business will be yours if you want it" I was shocked and taken aback. Unfortunately he died before this ever came to be and his wife sold the business on to his rival.

Looking back as I'm nearing a similar age to when he passed, I often consider his approach. It was cruel to be kind, he was preparing me for life, he was actually nurturing me to be his successor in a way that would be frowned upon these days. I have the upmost respect for him and actually missed him really bad when he passed away.

Sometimes tough love is the best kind of love.