Jokes on your apprentice

[Modernelectric]

lol me and my mate used to love telling the old dears we would have to split there ring! rofl. classic

 

[BangFlash]

My fav story is a app fresh out of pampers with shiny new tools. We used to nick his tools and hide them playing a 'colder, warmer' game. So he bought a pad lock, knocked out the hinges and replaced them. So he got a expensive box with closed hinges, Problem solved? Not with a small drill bit and some expanding foam!

 

[Jono Pashley]

My fav story is a app fresh out of pampers with shiny new tools. We used to nick his tools and hide them playing a 'colder, warmer' game. So he bought a pad lock, knocked out the hinges and replaced them. So he got a expensive box with closed hinges, Problem solved? Not with a small drill bit and some expanding foam!

I hope he runs your gear over with the van if your doing stupid **** like covering his tools in expanding foam.

 

[scotsparky]

i am all for a bit of fun but damaging the guys tools is out of order thats how he will be making a living remember

 

[Spudnik]

Keep it civil please fellas.

 

[Bromd123]

In a previous retail job i was sent for some rubber nails and a left handed screwdriver!

Ive also been asked for sky hooks and rocking horse **** in my younger days lol

 

[the1jock]

Bit of a long one this but still makes me chuckle,
workingin a factory in Kent a young kid came in for work experiance, one week he was so full of it and we were all told on threat of lossing our jobs that we couldnt touch the work experiance kids. this one kids the loud one actually came back for a job and was given one as an apprentice fitter. the factory was in sections the kid got stuck in our section with the top fitter supposidly to get him off on the right foot. well on day one the fitter got out his old spirit level Oh dear the bubble has burst, son got to the stores and get another, off he went,
storeman i need a new bubble for pauls level.
storeman, has it got square ends or round.
app, ill go and find out, Paul has it got square ends or round,
Paul, its got round
app storemen its got round ends
storeman, sorry son none left, but i have square ended ones, go see if that will do
app, paul he only has square ended ones, paul OK get one and i will teach you to file off the square end of a bubble to make it fit.
app, storeman a square neded bubble will do paul will teach me to file the ends, storeman goeas away and returns to say he dropped the last one there are none left.
app, Paul the storemen dropped the last one there are none left. coincidently along walks the production chasser all suited and booted.
Paul, app go see that man and tell him there are no bubbles left and what we need to be ordered. you will soon learn the system.
app, excuse me but i have to ask you to order some more bubbles some with round ends we need now and the storemen tells me there is also none with square ends
prodution chasser, who do you think i am i dont order things go and see that man up there, end of factory has large office with glasss wall.
app of he goes up to the man and askes to order the bubbles.
the Man is the Factory General Manager. the app is in tears has to go home to recover
everone ealse is denying it to this day.

 

[Jonesy83]

when i 1st started work my 1st day i was on site on top of a cherry picker wiring up a roller shutter door on an old aircrat hanger the door was only about 2 metres high but was a good 15 metres up so it can be opened to get the planes tail in

anyway i was wearing an harness and it wasnt tied to anything anyway the git who i was working with decided to hook my harness on the girder at the top of the building without me realising it then lowered the lift leaving me with a high pitch voice for the day

got him back next day he left his phone in the van while i was sitting in the van while he was paying for the diesel on a friday afternoon i set his alarm on his phone to 4 am so he got a rude awakening at 4 in the morning on his day off

that one is still famous 5 years later funnily enough no one at the firm lets me use their phone anymore

 

[ChristianG]

Before the days of becoming an electrician, I used to do roofing as a youngster.
Well one of the new boys got told to ask the scaffolders for a red saw ring piece for our red bowsaw we used to cut the battens. The whole site was in stiches.

Another one was on a really hot summers day we would set up another ladder to the top of the scaffolding and then 2 of us would get a big black bin about 1/4 full of freezing cold water and take it to the top of the scaffold.

We would then wait till one of the new labourers started coming up the ladder to fetch more tiles down and empty the water over them. So funny seeing them go into mild shock.

Few dead bird carcasses in people sandwhich's now and then too. Nailing backs of boots onto joists.

Now at the age of 32 I am getting the odd IR test sent through me.

 

[Darkwood]

Old days one again, was on the top of some shoddy scaffolding banging caddie clips on as i hit the first caddy on i got a shock up my arm, thinking i just knocked my funny bone i tried again and again i got a shock, scratching my head i got my mate to throw my testers up which showed no voltage present, after several minutes i gave in to the laughter of my mate at the bottom with a megger atached to the scaffolding and girder and timing it just right not to cause suspician, gotta admit he got me good but dont think the health and safety would like someone meggering a workmate 25ft up while leaning over a scaffold nowadays, bloody red tape cant have o fun anymore.

 

[piperm]

i once had my works 24v drill robbed off my and handed to the sites canteen cook .. then the sparks made me go and beg her to give it me back.. eventhough they gave it her in the first place..

ive seen them get a fellow apprentice to go to the wholesalers to fetch some skyhooks and a replacement bubble for their spirit level

i've had a kid come out to me and ask me to give them the silencer for a 110v drill .. and i've had it on my van.. ( we wound him up a treat)

and i've had left and right wrote on my steelies in my time for a joke

trying to think of more

 

[Chunky]

Great reading these tales of apprenticeship wind ups.One of my faves is sending the apprentice at any new jobs into the offices to ask for a Mr Hugh Jardon.Some of the looks on the secretaries faces are a picture.
When I was a boy I was once nailed to the floor through my clothing,doused in water(I was told it was petrol)and all through break I had matches being flicked at me.Not funny at the time but looking back it was really a right of passage.Could probably sue for something like that now.
Definetley agree that it brought everybody closer together and you looked forward to the day when you were actually allowed to wind the new boys up and you would feel then you have arrived.Happy days.

 

[Graeme Harrold]

In the Army, higher cost or "nice to have" tools require officail "write off" paperwork signing off by a senior person. Classic is sending a new lad to the office holding a big axe or 12lb sledge hammer with one of these pieces of paper. Only thing written on it is a message along the lines of "give me the rest of the day off or I smash your f*@king desk up!!!!!

 

[f1ngerz]

we tied a gobby apprentice up on the roof put a cloth bag on his head and said we were gonna pee on him! out comes the cold tea ! screamed like a little girl ! lol.
I used to get a 2by4 ala timmy mallet on top of my hard hat if I wasnt paying attention!

 

[pmac10]

i was sent for a bucket of blue sparks (apparently the welder had an urgent need for them)
witnessed a gobby apprentice in raf germany, duct taped hand/foot/mouth, thrown on a flat bed ldv, and dispatched under a hanger drainage pipe during a torrential rainstorm of a rival sqadron.
members of that squadron could undoubtedly continue this thread.