Nearly scored a home run

GMES · Sep 26, 2015

So were working all weekend on a job and I've got Darrel and the apprentice with me we set him on about 2 months ago and he's nearly 18, smashing lad etc but got him good style today, so were in the power room and there's a cable above us missing a couple of cleats.
Right then Jordan I'm not happy with the supports on the cable do you mind popping out and getting me 4 SKY HOOKS from that box on the bench ( me and Darrel can see him clearly looking around, Glenn I can't see them, me there next to that long stand leant against the bench, ok mate I'll find them. " minutes later I can't see them Glenn, Darrel then pipes up there next to that tin of TARTAN PAINT ( Ironically theres loads of paint on the bench ) he starts to look at the paint tins, me Look to the left of the paint can you see that glass hammer/ no mate can't see one.
Bless the poor sod we had him proper he finally twigged when we mentioned the bucket of Fog.
Pmsl me and Darrel were giggling like 2 bloody school kids.

It did backfire though the rest of the day because everytime we asked him for a tool he thought we were taking the mick and wouldn't bring anything we asked for.

Andy78 · Sep 27, 2015

I once got my foreman to ask for a female coil when he went to the wholesalers

I also went to stores for a long stand many years ago.

Kamikaze · Sep 27, 2015

1[SUP]st[/SUP] week as an apprentice, the sparkys send me to the stores for the starting handle of the generator. It was a good 10 minute walk from the works to the stores and when I got there, the stores people pretended to look for it, then said they couldn’t find it. What exactly does it look like? So back I went to ask the question. The sparkys then went into great details of what colour it was and what it looked like. And send me back with the message not to come back without it. When I got there, the stores people pretended to look for it some more, then gave me a rather large Allen key and asked me if that was it? Got back to the works and they send me back because that was not it. And so it went on until the penny finally dropped.
Backfired on them though, because after that, anything that sounded even remotely suspect, I refused to go for it. The Mess room was usually a hotbed for wind-ups and sabotage. Never let them make you a drink or let them anywhere near your sandwiches etc. You always had to check your chair before you sat down. Mind you, that is proper funny, watching someone go straight through the middle of a chair.
And I put my hands up now and admit that I’ve got caught out by the “Just hold those test probes while I find out what’s wrong with this megger” routine.

KWCFC · Sep 28, 2015

In my first year as an apprentice I was giving the task of putting on all the blank plates on a big commercial job.

When the Head spark told me that some of them were upside down I laughed and told him to p*ss off.

It turns out you can actually put blank plates on upside down! One of the edges is thinner [emoji17]

DPG · Sep 28, 2015

Metric adjustable spanner anyone? Daz

Bobster · Sep 28, 2015

If you get a smart arsed apprentice, half of the items mentioned here are legitimate and can be obtained.

Spoon · Sep 28, 2015

Best one I did was at my old works. We had two factories close together. Sent a young lad to the other factory to get 'a box of infra-red light'. He came back holding a small cardboard box. "It's empty" he said. I told him that he let the light escape and to go back and get another one. 10 mins later he comes back empty handed. "they have run out of infra-red, but they have some infra-blue. Will that do?" I told him it will and off he trots. 5 mins taker with a box, which he told us he hasn't opened.
One of the female workers used to also wine the lad up. On pub day she used to flirt a lot with the lad a few mins before we had to get back to work. The poor lad got to excited to stand up when we all started to leave.