Things an Electrician would never say

[Kamikaze]

I love paying the NIC their pocket money. It gives me a nice warn feeling inside and makes me feel so responsible.

 

[Kamikaze]

My Tongue is hurting from licking the appliance tester.

 

[camerabloke]

My Tongue is hurting from licking the appliance tester.

Where did you lick him? Did he mind? Second date?

 

[Kamikaze]

Yeah…it was the 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] date and I’ve got a real taste for it now. Should have read the instructions a little more carefully. It did say “Lick and Stick” and I only licked. Let that be a lesson for you boys and girls. Always read the instructions!


Anyways, back to the topic: Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!:wink_smile:

 

[Paul.M]

This hard hat really spoils my David Beckham style hair cut!

 

[Kamikaze]

Yes lady Voldemort, I know your favourite electrician smashed your back door in at NIC HQ, while you were on the phone sexing up the dangers of electricity for him. It must have felt like a large wardrobe falling on you with a very small key but you have to remember that his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired and he does enjoy his caped crusader routine. The only way to slow down an ox like him, is to have a couple of 24V maglocks fitted to your passage door. One at the top and one at the bottom! Just remember to stick a “Mind The Step” sign in front of it.

 

[Kamikaze]

I’m not the Messiah, I’m just a very naughty boy.:biggrin:

 

[DuaneMHunt1976]

I’m not the Messiah, I’m just a very naughty boy.:biggrin:

and do you have a fetish for welsh tarts

 

[Slowhand]

"How inconsiderate of me, it never occurred to me when you asked me to price the rewire of your restaurant, kitchen, takeaway and the five flats above them that you don't ever pay anyone more than the minimum wage and you never pay more than cost price for materials. Yes I see your point it's only a few bits of wire and shouldn't take more than a week and that's with the restaurant and takeaway staying open. No we don't charge extra for working nights and yes I'll be there with my men at 05.30 tomorrow."

 

[tigerpaul]

Yes old "friend" of course I'll do it all for free, because I went to school with you 20 years ago so that means we're "friends". Even though I haven't been out for a beer with you for over 15 years and the only time you ever ring is when you want something.

 

[Kamikaze]

and do you have a fetish for welsh tarts

So many fetishes and so little time!




This is the renowned Guantanamo Bay water-boarding and cell-bar holiday resort and not Butlins, so in your room the spot lights will be staying on all night. We at the maintenance department pride ourselves on the high standards delivered. Tomorrow we will be familiarizing you with the Modelski Chain Rule. There will be no expense spared for your vacation Squire!

 

[R G]

Yes old "friend" of course I'll do it all for free, because I went to school with you 20 years ago so that means we're "friends". Even though I haven't been out for a beer with you for over 15 years and the only time you ever ring is when you want something.

Got some friends / people I know just like that that think your a best mate even though you've only known them a few months,

 

[R G]

Yes of course I will match the Eastern European quote you have had, I will even discount that too...

 

[Darkwood]

Qualified! - my mate down the pub taught me everything I know

 

[LankyWill]

I love it when the un-skilled immigrant boarder screws my cable, it gives me a chance to waste my valuable time trying to find out where he did it. Just imagine if he could see the cables before he put the board up it MIGHT help.