A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[ian.settle1]

I don't get it??

As telectrix said

The captain was jewish so he sent 4 black officers to a deep south white property

 

[Carlosfandango]

Ahhh, that'll teach me to read the joke thoroughly!!

 

[specs]

I got talking to a chap in the pub last night, he said 'my mate fell off his motorbike today, he's got a broken arm, 3 cracked ribs, three broken fingers and he's lost an eye'.
I said, 'Bloody hell, I'm not surprised he fell off!

 

[specs]

http://www.gaskrank.tv/tv/motorrad-fun/stunt-riding-11100.htm

 

[tidyboiler]

My kids are just packing their schoolbags.................

 

[telectrix]

View attachment 21279

My kids are just packing their schoolbags.................

they'll need this for their scrap runs and fly tipping after school.

 

[specs]

A cop saw a car weaving all over the road and pulled it over. He walked up to the car and saw a nice-looking woman behind the wheel. There was a strong smell liquor on her breath.

He said, 'I'm going to give you a breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol.' She blew up the balloon and he walked it back to the police car. After a couple of minutes, he returned to her car and said, 'It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones.'

She replied, 'You mean it shows that, too?'

 

[specs]

View attachment 21279

My kids are just packing their schoolbags.................

They look like chain wrenches, wouldn't be so bad but they are made in Portugal with ---- steel. for gods sake can this country not even produce a good old offensive weapon. Or did you mean they were shoplifting !!!

 

[tidyboiler]

Just hate it when that happens.

 

[Spoon]

View attachment 21284

Just hate it when that happens.

haha so you have a strap-on. Geordie must love that.....