A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[telectrix]

judging by some of your jokes, life can't be easy. got to admit, though, some of them are corkers.

 

[moospark]

after reading that, i'd say there's "norfolk in hope"

Last time I heard that, one of the old boys got a secretary to put a fiver on it, in the 2:15. She came back really disapointed for the guy "cos it wasn't running today"

 

[hubsy]

A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue and **** on the carpet."

 

[hubsy]

Little Johnny comes running into the house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

 

[dan86]

ahh, little johnny jokes. can't beat em!

 

[hubsy]

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

- - - Updated - - -

One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says “Oh just a beer”. The bartender asked the man “Whats wrong,why are you so down today?”. The man said “My wife and i got into a fight,and she said she would’nt talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So whats wrong with that”? The man siad “Well the month is up tonight”.

 

[dan86]

On a roll now Howard. need to keep em coming!

 

[telectrix]

wishing well:

http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rc...=otwF6vC5NzngbhS8xSp5Tw&bvm=bv.50310824,d.d2k

 

[Brightspark2]

Wow he is old. Hes in his late 80s!!

He looks familiar. Ive only seen maybe the last 4 bond films in full. Never even seen a sean connery one. I know people who like to say 'bond, james bond' in sean connerys accent.

I dont like the james bond films. The character is an arrogant tw4t and I would like to punch him in the face.

Shut the door behind you!!

 

[Kate]

I was expecting a comment like that when I wrote it...surprised it took so long!!

Thanks for making me smile when I feel so sh1te