Coronavirus - Keeping it light :-)

[Mike Johnson]

A live broadcast from there showed lots of assumed barbecue smoke wafting all over the beach and blasting music, "why would you"

 

[telectrix]

why go to the beach when it's pi$$ing down.... all them umbrellas.

 

[richy3333]

As a man, I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent household which now, whether I like it or not, makes me "Privileged", a racist & responsible for slavery.

I am a fiscal & moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist because I plan, budget & support myself and my family.

I went to Secondary School & have always held a job. I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was "advantaged”.

I am heterosexual, which now makes me a homophobe. I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.

I am older than 40, making me a useless eater who doesn't understand Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat.

I think & I reason, and I doubt much of what "mainstream" media tells me, which makes me a "Right-wing conspiracy nut”.

I am proud of my heritage & our inclusive British culture, making me a xenophobe.

I believe in hard work, fair play, & fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort - not freedom of outcome or subsidies which makes me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defence & protection of Great Britain for & by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to let it fly, so I must be an imperialist and a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!

Funny - it all took place over the last 7 or 8 years !!

If all this nonsense wasn't enough to deal with, now I don't even know which fecking toilet to use !!

 

[Baddegg]

But deep for this time of day @richy3333......absolutely spot on though......over 40 white males are most definitely the cause of all the worlds problems ?

 

[richy3333]

@Baddegg I'm as deep as a puddle I'm afraid

 

[Baddegg]

@Baddegg I'm as deep as a puddle I'm afraid

Your an ocean compared to me then mate ?

 

[littlespark]

Looking back on my pic of Bournemouth beach....
Why is that so terrible, when it’s alright for half of Liverpool to party in the street?

 

[DPG]

Looking back on my pic of Bournemouth beach....
Why is that so terrible, when it’s alright for half of Liverpool to party in the street?

The Liverpool thing is shameful. They were even firing rockets at buildings, which is probably what caused the fire in the Liver building. Dicks.

 

[littlespark]

So, the first shops and services to reopen will be opticians, chemists and Greggs....

So that’s specs, drugs and sausage rolls

 

[pirate]

I'm sure, somewhere...

 

[telectrix]

stringing up a pirate at the yardarm would be my last wish.

 

[pirate]

You are out of luck there, Tel...I keep my yardarm fixed flat to the deck...
no-one can string me up on it, and...
the sun's always over it!

 

[telectrix]

have to make you walk the plank in diane abbott infested waters then.

 

[pirate]

Oh no! PLEASE! not that! Please! Anything else is fine, but not THAT, I BEG you!
Sharks I can handle...

 

[Mike Johnson]

Why is there a difference between the two options.