"your average american is pretty stupid, just remember 50% are more stupid still"

Bill Ritter, an old Texan friend.
 
I serve 3 types of meal..... frozen, microwave, and takeaway.

Mrs . Tel. last night when I asked what was for dinner.
 
‘To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.’
Lady Bracknell - The importance of being Ernest.
 
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
-Marilyn Monroe
 
“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”


“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

Mark Twain,

I Like Mark Twain:)
 
“Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it.”

-Salvador Dali
 
The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bulls**t reason as to why you can’t achieve it.

Jordan Belfort....wolf of Wall Street lol :D
 
A wise man knows a hippopotamus can't sting but he would still rather be sat upon by a bee.
Banacek
 
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Great Quotes...............
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Nigel,
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westward10,
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