off topic ( how to confuse an electrician )

[GMES]

So my faithful laptop was getting a bit weary so thought it was time to upgrade. I had just got used to windows 7, but thought I would try windows 8 so I have just treat myself to a touch screen HP laptop 1 tb hard drive 8gb memory nice little laptop. but I suddenly feel really really old I have got tiles sliding from left to right . I move something then can't find it, then find something else and then can't move it :sad_smile: don't you just love technology. just wondered who else on here was using same set up i.e. windows 8 and touch screen. I think us old ones should stick together :rockon2:

 

[shanky887614]

go to iobit's website

and install start8

this will bring back the startmenu and you wont have to use the horrible tile interface.

if you cant find internet explorer to get this far.

1. turn pc/laptop on

2. hold "start/windows" key and press "r"

3. in the run box that apears type iexplore.exe

4. go to the website and install start8 or alternative.

 

[Phoenix]

I always think of Homer Simpson in front of his screen, reading "To start, press any key"...
then staring at the keyboard muttering "Where's the 'any' key"?

 

[telectrix]

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

 

[telectrix]

Of course, some problems are just basic.
Customer: I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.
Tech Support: What sort of trouble?
Customer: Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Tech Support: Went away?
Customer: They disappeared.
Tech Support: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now
Customer: Nothing. It's blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.
Tech Support: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
Customer: How do I tell?
Tech Support: (Uh-oh. Well, let’s give it a try anyway.) Can you see the C:\ prompt on the screen?
Customer: What’s a sea-prompt?
Tech Support: (Uh-huh, thought so. Let’s try a different tack.) Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?
Customer: There isn’t any cursor. I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.
Tech Support: (Ah – at least she knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if she’s kicked the monitor’s power plug.) Does your monitor have a power indicator?
Customer: What’s a monitor?
Tech Support: It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it’s on?
Customer: I don’t know.
Tech Support: Well, then, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?
Customer: (sound of rustling and jostling) [muffled] Yes, I think so.
Tech Support: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.
Customer: [pause] Yes, it is.
Tech Support: (Hmm. Well, that’s interesting. I doubt she would have accidentally turned it off, and I don’t want to send her hunting for the power switch because I don’t know what kind of monitor she has and it’s bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.) When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
Customer: [muffled] Okay, here it is.
Tech Support: Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.
Customer: [muffled] I can’t reach.
Tech Support: Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?
Customer: [clear again] No.
Tech Support: Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?
Customer: Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle. It’s because it’s dark.
Tech Support: Dark?
Customer: Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Tech Support: Well, turn on the office light then.
Customer: I can’t.
Tech Support: Because there’s a power outage.
Customer: A power -- !?! (AAAARRGGGH!!!) A power outage? Aha! Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?
Tech Support: Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
Customer: Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
Tech Support: Really? Is it that bad?
Customer:Yes, I’m afraid it is.
Tech Support: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
Customer: Tell them you’re TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER! [slam]

 

[GMES]

thanks for all the replies guys some useful and funny comments ( tel ) after faffing around all day yesterday I am finally getting the hang of it. It seems that windows xp was the one then they completely messed up with vista, then pulled it back with windows 7. as for windows out let's just say the jury are still out.

 

[UNG]

Closest I've got to windows 8 was someone asked for some help to set up a new laptop after looping through the same set up screens twice I realised that it was one to steer clear of as it would not accept that set up had been completed

 

[Outspoken]

I bought a new personal laptop late last year to replace my venerable old Rock P4D unit that the kids broke the screen on..

Acer Aspire i5 3380 with 8GB 1666MHz memory, 2GB NVidia graphics, 1 512TB SSD and 1 1TB 7200rpm Samsung HDD....lovely kit...it was also running W8Pro which was a ham fisted excuse of an OS...still it is stable so a vast improvement on Microsoft Encephalitis. Vista was not as bad as people say of you had the Pro version.

Anyway, If I wanted a 15.3" Phone I would have bought one, so I installed a program to restore the start button and conventional windows menu system, most people do not notice it is running W8...for the life of me I cannot recall the name of the program as it simply sits in the background..Aha..it's called Pokki

 

[shanky887614]

I bought a new personal laptop late last year to replace my venerable old Rock P4D unit that the kids broke the screen on..

Acer Aspire i5 3380 with 8GB 1666MHz memory, 2GB NVidia graphics, 1 512TB SSD and 1 1TB 7200rpm Samsung HDD....lovely kit...it was also running W8Pro which was a ham fisted excuse of an OS...still it is stable so a vast improvement on Microsoft Encephalitis. Vista was not as bad as people say of you had the Pro version.

Anyway, If I wanted a 15.3" Phone I would have bought one, so I installed a program to restore the start button and conventional windows menu system, most people do not notice it is running W8...for the life of me I cannot recall the name of the program as it simply sits in the background..Aha..it's called Pokki

start8 is another popular one to restore startmenu.

the reason people didnt like vista was there are a lot of things allways running that slows it down and disabling them etc is not simple enough for most users

 

[Guest55]

am i in need of an upgrade too ??



it does run a bit slow on "gentlemens entertainment" sites..........
;-D

 

[Kamikaze]

You need to up-grade to the ZX81 mate. :wink_smile:

 

[Outspoken]

am i in need of an upgrade too ??

View attachment 19303

it does run a bit slow on "gentlemens entertainment" sites..........
;-D

Now you're making me feel old, that was my first computer, followed by a ZX81...had to learn programming in machine code and DOS to work them..great days..

They were then followed by this..

My venerable old Sharp MZ80A. I actually still owned that baby until about 8 years ago when it was stolen in a burglary...It still worked too...I once toyed with getting Windows 3.1 to run on it, but the memory was the issue...(The computers and not mine )

 

[Guest55]

wow ! built - in cassette drive !
my watch has more processing power than that pc lol.

 

[GMES]

Guys I thought I felt old , but if some of you actually owned one of these then I suddenly feel like a spring chicken, cheers guys I feel better already arty:

 

[stranded]

Cant stand windows 8, its just too "footery", and its more complicated to do simple things than it should be. IMO, windows 7 if your looking for a stable (ish) modern op system, if you have a cooy of Vista in your house, get it out if your house again...(enough said), but the best of the best, is good old faithful XP. Cant go wrong there! Windows are stopping support for xp though which is a shame...


One thing about 7 though... I just done a nice clean install of it on my pc.... and this came up: (see attatchment)...

Installing as i speak...since 8:30 ish...

 

[Jamzie]

Can second Pokki. Works a treat. Once installed and configured so it boots up to the start screen, W8 isn't that bad...