Pokes patch round door...quiet in here...Jabber the parrot screeches in despair at the state of the place...
Oh well, can't barge in without bringing a first-foot present, so drags huge crate of San Miguel into the body of the kirk and on knee (wooden one) stacks the fridge to the brim...
Pulls a big peg o' rum to steady his screwdriving hand then carefully eases his wiha out of his pocket...
Makes 3" circular hole in plasterboard wall behind fridge, inserts hafele cover, pops poly bag of weed in and closes flap then gathers dirt and dust from filthy floor and spreads it over the cover...
ah! company Hi Grant! Is that a Domino's? Have a beer and let's tuck in! No Jabber, behave yourself! Stop shi**ing on the floor! Oh, can't see it anyway...
Lynyrd Skynrd on the juke box, Free Bird Jabber preening and disco-dancing, my mate Jim arrives with 6 steak bakes from Greggs and a bottle of Rioja...good times!
Oh! Is that the gaffer arriving? No, it's Mish Moneypenny again, with a small person in tow! Happy? I dunno, not the time for guessing games! Party on! Hic...