STIG electrical quotes

[Paul.M]

If Stig from Top Gear was an Electrician and not a retired race car driver, what sayings could we do in the same tone?????



"Some people say" he can find a borrowed neutral just by using the sense of smell?

"Some people say" he can replace the fuse wire of a DNO bullet with his pubic hair?

"Some people say" he can second fix a DB socket just by looking at it!


Have fun with this thread but please keep it clean :drunk:

 

[telectrix]

some say he can perform an insulation test using his willie.

 

[Pete999]

"Some say" he can change the phase sequence on a three phase supply by blinking his eyes, and that the fingers on his right hand, are in fact volt sticks.

 

[Paul.M]

"Some say" that on the weekends he stands in the electrical section of B&Q and hands out "how to do" leaflets!

 

[Flanders]

'Some say' He has extraneous conductive parts and his helmet Bonded as per the 15th edition regulations

 

[gazdkw82]

'Some Say' His body has zero resistivity and his superconductivity can create a magnetic field just by the slightest mention of the 18th edition

 

[hightower]

Some say he oils his tools with plumber's tears.

 

[Pete999]

Some say he oils his tools with plumber's tears.

"Some say" He finished his Electrical Trainee course in 2 days, and Tony Cable is his Idol, all we know is he is called the STIG

 

[Paul.M]

"Some say" that he only answers to Emma Clancy!!!! and uses his tongue to prove a dead short?

 

[Pete999]

"Some say" he has prior knowledge of the upcoming 18th edition, and he has already done the course, and he has his bedroom decorated with pictures of Tony Cable.

 

[hightower]

My word Pete, the truths are coming out. Sounds like you've got it in for the poor fella.

 

[Pete999]

My word Pete, the truths are coming out. Sounds like you've got it in for the poor fella.

Who Tony

 

[hightower]

I tried to find him at elex but couldn't. I wonder if it's got anything to do with me being 6'5 and him being about 4'

 

[Pete999]

I tried to find him at elex but couldn't. I wonder if it's got anything to do with me being 6'5 and him being about 4'

Crossed screwdrivers with Tony sometime ago at ELEX, say no more

 

[Kamikaze]

"Some say" he always wanted to be an electrician and that he didn’t know how long he could've been a vet for, before he got bored and started shagging stuff.

 

[Paul.M]

"Some say" that scientist at Oxford combined the Stig and Tony Cable's DNA and produced Boris Johnson!!!!!

 

[Kamikaze]

"Some say" he likes Emma Clancy just how he likes his multifunction tester. On his lap, turned on and resistance free and his thoughts can be used as a Time Domain Reflectometer.

 

[Kamikaze]

"Some say" had he been a lecturer at the local technical college, Harness69 would have been able to string four words together.

 

[telectrix]

some say that he uses a calcard to wipe his arse, and that his underpants are calibrated every year.

 

[Kamikaze]

"Some say" he’s of god's prototypes. A high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die. All we know is, when he switches the lights off at the switch, he’s in bed before it gets dark.

 

[Pete999]

"Some say" STIG'S van doesn't need any racking, because he knows what the problem is before he leave home, and that his tools aren't insulated, he is immune to voltage and current. all we know is he is called Tony.

 

[Kamikaze]

"Some say" he doesn’t sugar coat s*** because he’s not Willy Wonka. All we know is, Emma Clancy lives rent-free in his head.

 

[telectrix]

some say he eats old copies of the regs for breakfast and evey 3 years he farts out amendments .

 

[Kamikaze]

"Some say" he reluctantly sacrificed his favourite comic “An illustrated explanation of earthed equipotential bonding” when he got caught short inside a building site toilet. All we know is, last nights curry was hotter than hell.

 

[telectrix]

some say he's retired from racing cars and taken yup sparking for a hobby, and that the only skid marks he now sees are in his underpants. all we know is he's called the stig.

 

[Paul.M]

"Some say" that his real name is Dan and he runs this forum!!!!!

 

[Kamikaze]

"Some say" his name is Tony because his name is Tony. All we know is, that if he went out dressed like that round our way, he would get the MDF kicked out of him. Bad hair day my ar$e!!!

 

[Kamikaze]

"Some say" coffee just isn't his cup of tea but all we know is, the sight of his part P certificate gives him an instant erect!0n.

 

[Paul.M]

If the Stig was an EIC Board member, he would get rid of any amendments and would write a book correctly the first time round!

 

[Paul.M]

"Some say" if he was in charge, the grey on 3 core + earth WILL be used as Neutral!

 

[Pete999]

Some say if the STIG was a Spark he would
be
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cPxKq-gMDo

 

[Kamikaze]

“Some say” his favourite prime minister is Emma Clancy. All we know is, that he hasn’t got a clue who Theresa May is.

 

[egg67]

"Some say" he was born in Liverpool, all we know is he nicked the like button


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[LeeH]

"Some say" he was born in Liverpool, all we know is he nicked the like button


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[egg67]

Some say he likes that, and so do l



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[Pete999]

Some say the like button is in fact the Stig's belly button, and that the continual pressing has caused him to ban it's use, all we know is he had better get it back on line or we could be looking for a replacement Stig.

 

[Kamikaze]

“Some say” he has no idea what’s happened to the “Like button”. All we know is that if Dan doesn’t fix the problem, he will be paid a visit from L’appel du Vide. Well that is what his alibi is going to say anyway.:wink_smile:

 

[Paul.M]

"Some people say" he has gone to Rio and entered the Triathlon and taken the like Button to use has his bicycle bell so the mortals get out of his way!

 

[Kamikaze]

“Some say” he accidentally hit the “Find a Thai bride” like button on the forum ad a smigin too hard, as Lady Stig unexpectedly walked in on him. All we know is, it will be a while before he’s recovered from his injuries and won’t be pressing any buttons any time soon.

 

[Paul.M]

“Some say” he accidentally hit the “Find a Thai bride” like button on the forum .

Kam FFS do not post up any pictures!!!!!! You almost closed this (and other) forums down!!!!!!!!

That was funny as ---- :rofl: but please dont do it again.

Luv you Kam, your a crazy horse.