Things an Electrician would never say

[MarkieSparkie]

Of course your house doesn't need a rewire madam, when you can just get Buffalo Bill from the Darby and Joan club to 'Tune it in' for you for £20.

 

[Paullestrange]

Q Whats Grey Crispy and hangs from the ceiling. Your Husband if he carrys on wiring lights that way

 

[keniff]

Of course it's fine to use my cable, knotted up, to hang your lead-lamp on.

Lol!....

 

[Kamikaze]

I won’t be on site for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve. :winkiss:

 

[Kamikaze]

Chaos, panic & disorder. My work here is done!

 

[MarkieSparkie]

Your little Billy's new green and yellow skipping rope seems to have created a new trend in town all the kids are now getting them. How clever of you to think of cutting off the main bonding conductor that was clashing with your new decorating scheme Sir.

 

[Kamikaze]

Thank you for your quote request. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first 10 words and £1.99 for each additional word in our reply.
Yours sincerely,
We have the shirts off your back electrical services

 

[Vegelen]

I just need to temporarily increase the resistance in this 240V circuit.

If you could take hold of the brown wire with your left hand and the blue wire with your right,

I'll temporarily turn this circuit on.

You might experience a brief sensation.

Dont worry it wont affect your pacemaker, everything will be fine.

 

[James Dalby]

The plumbers done a fantastic job of wiring that shower up!

 

[Swicade]

I've given up tea and coffee while on site so i'll have to decline that cuppa

 

[dcelectrical]

no no i know i quoted your job 18 months, i can get the 4 guys there for 8am tomorrow to start your rewire, don't worry we will move all the furniture and i think i can knock around 30 per cent off the quote, no the grandkids and your two little yappy dogs shouldnt get in the way

 

[Paul.M]

I think we should have a 3000+ forum...... Only joking Dan :rofl:

 

[bigbaddave]

Due to the condition of your wiring I have had to remove your RCD, Dont worry though they were only manufactured so that they could create a new edition of the wiring regulations. If you are still receiving shocks from that light fitting can you call me once your cheque has cleared.

Yours Sincerely
Fuse it and run Electrical Services

 

[cogsey133]

The only bonding you need to do is with H69!

 

[tidyboiler]

I promise I will be there tomorrow at 9.am or I will give you my van and all it's contents.