Things an Electrician would never say

[andyemms]

"The way things are heading, it's just going to get 'harder'. Now, How do you want to pay?"

 

[andyemms]

No sorry mate, I don't do discount for cash, it still goes through the books....

 

[ipd1961]

Of course I am fully qualified. I did a 5 week online course

 

[RWJ]

Of course I am fully qualified. I did a 5 week online course

I did one and spent the first 3 weeks using the wrong end of the screwdriver!! Now I'm fully qualified and experienced!!!

 

[Kamikaze]

I'm enjoying my mid-life crisis. I've spend most of my money on women & beer. The rest I just wasted! Any chance of paying us up front for the work that’s got to be done madam?

 

[simpson93]

me no speak english.

 

[Kamikaze]

Bad planing on your part does not necessarily constitute an automatic emergency on my part madam.

 

[Kamikaze]

Yes Sir, you can talk to the electrician in charge, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the electrician in charge.

 

[Paul.M]

Ok, who the bloody hell put kamikaze in charge?

 

[BOROROBBO]

I doubt that wall ive just smashed up is asbestos........ but i'll let you know in 30 years or so!

 

[dim_bulb]

Sure you can have the down lights exactly smack bang where the joists are ...luckily i got my trusty chainsaw in the van

so Mr H&S inspector do you wana go for a drink tonight?

 

[simpson93]

i think im going to move to poland to work .

 

[dim_bulb]

yeah I got a number for complaints department you got a pen and paper?

0800 f off

 

[JD6400]

Of course i will drop by " while i am passing " and fix the fault " while you are here " .

 

[dim_bulb]

I get all my materials from B&Q, 10 meters of 2.5 t+e for £25 what a bargin!

who needs a £700 meter thats calibrated yearly when you can just lick ya finger

 

[JD6400]

I actually wanted to be a pilot but I'm colour blind !

 

[Kamikaze]

Hello, the number you have dialed for the emergency call out service is imaginary. Please rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again.

 

[Kamikaze]

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it Mr Customer. Now I know not to get the primary and secondary mixed up on a transformer. I will go and get you another lamp.

 

[Phil]

I need a lift in a police van cos my leg is nackered
(for those who may not have read it this is aimed at paul)

 

[paturback]

Thank god for the 17th edition Amendment 1 ,cant wait to buy my copy!

 

[deafboy]

Of course your right the green and yellow wire does nothing mate

 

[dim_bulb]

the brown wires earth yea... cos it looks like mud

 

[telectrix]

of course you can have the certificate now and pay me next month when you get your wages

 

[Paul.M]

You want me to sign up to do a marathon with you, of course I will no problem.

 

[scotsparky]

I love mondays!!