S
specs
I asked the bookshop owner for the new book by Nick Clegg.
"I think I've sold out," he replied.
I said "that's the one."
"I think I've sold out," he replied.
I said "that's the one."
S
specs
You know you don't mean that.
S
specs
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lilies.
"Tch Tch!" said the passer-by to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help."
So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?"
"Fishin', sir."
"Fishin', eh? Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?"
The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.
His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?"
The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"
"Tch Tch!" said the passer-by to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help."
So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?"
"Fishin', sir."
"Fishin', eh? Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?"
The old man stood put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.
His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?"
The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"
R
R G
A man was wearing a placard , on the front it said "Alcohol is thy enemy", on the back it said "Love thy enemy",,,
S
specs
A fire fighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fire fighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the fire fighter said with admiration.
'Thanks,' the girl replied.
The fire fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
'Little partner,' the fire fighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. '
The little girl, after giving it some thought, replied , 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.
R
R G
An elderly lady took her Budgie that had fainted to a vet , The vet looked at it and said Its passed away , the lady asked if she could have a second opinion , The vet bought in a cat and the cat sniffed the budgie and shook its head , The vet then went out and brought in a labrador , again he sniffed the budgie and shook his head , The lady was now convinced the budgie has passed away , The vet then gave the lady the bill , and immediately the lady voiced her opinion at the high cost , The vet then explained the charges "what with the cat scan and the lab report the charges are high"..
T
trev
B
Badged01
So where did the 4th one come from and what happened to him?
He was special forces so can't be discussed!
D
dan86
I always prefer red haired women.
Rusty roof means the cellar is wet as well.
Rusty roof means the cellar is wet as well.
S
specs
There's an annual contest at Bond University, Australia calling for the
most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's chosen term
was "political correctness".
The winning student wrote:
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical
minority, and promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the
proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shlt by the
clean end."
Perhaps the most truthful words ever spoken
most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year's chosen term
was "political correctness".
The winning student wrote:
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical
minority, and promoted by mainstream media, which holds forth the
proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shlt by the
clean end."
Perhaps the most truthful words ever spoken
D
dan86
Oranges can be either male or female.
The males sometimes unexpectedly squirt in your eye.
The females are bitter for no apparent reason.
The males sometimes unexpectedly squirt in your eye.
The females are bitter for no apparent reason.
R
R G
Nice one Tel ,, wouldn't like to meet the parents ,, HeHe..
News and Offers from Sponsors
- Article
OFFICIAL SPONSORS
These Official Forum Sponsors May Provide Discounts to Regular Forum Members - If you would like to sponsor us then CLICK HERE and post a thread with who you are, and we'll send you some stats etc
