A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[LeeH]

 

[steve50]

[video]https://www.facebook.com/MyHumorGroup/videos/1127290910617042/[/video]

 

[steve50]

....

 

[LeeH]

 

[shanky887614]

i got a call from a recruitment place about training to be a fire and security engineer...... starting at 22k as a grade 1 and they train you up im tempted ive seen adt and others commerical installs

 

[LeeH]

 

[hightower]

For the gamers among us, that looks like one of the weapons used in borderlands!

 

[LeeH]

 

[norcal]

With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you ever
seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No," said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and
pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked him, "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"

"Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer, panties... and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.

He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.
"Now," she said, "have you ever seen $40,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

"No way!" he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and excited, to which she replied:

"Go look in the garage"


Mexican Jew

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Abe, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant one day ...

Sid asks Abe, "Do you know if any people of our ancestry were ever born and raised in Mexico ?"

Abe replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter arrives, Abe asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"

The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.

" He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says,

"No senor, the cook say no Mexican Jews."

Abe isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"

The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies,

"I check once again, senor," and goes back into the kitchen.

While the waiter is away, Sid says

"I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico ...

Our people are scattered everywhere."

The waiter returns and says,

"Senor, the head cook Manuel, he say there is no Mexican Jews."

"Are you certain?" Abe asks again. "I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!"

"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter

"All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Apple Jews, but no Mexican Jews."

 

[LeeH]

 

[Barry White]

Big clive has been to poundland and bought a fanny doll!

[video=youtube;mcDgOGC5Lcc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcDgOGC5Lcc[/video]

 

[valleybilly]

A Turkey havin The EU 4 Xmas ?

 

[Barry White]

Ever had a bike stolen then this is for you

[video=youtube;_1fzePmUxVw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1fzePmUxVw[/video]

 

[Barry White]

I spent an hour at my wifes grave this morning she thinks I am digging a fishpond:biggrinjester:

 

[telectrix]

are you the yorkshire kipper?