A new jokes thread for your amusement.

[Besoeker]

In a Tottenham church Sunday morning a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar." With that, Leroy got in line and when it was his turn the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked,
"Leroy how is your hearing now?"
Leroy answered, "I dunno. It ain't 'til Thursday."

 

[R G]

Bad News

An Irish family in Dublin has frozen to death outside a Cinema , they were queuing to see the film "Closed For The Winter"....

 

[Barry White]

A 1 million pound prize was offered to any university who could explain why the end of a mans penis is helmet shaped. The university of Cambridge concluded it was to give the man more pleasure. The university of Oxford concluded it was to give the woman more pleasure. The 'university' of Newcastle spent the afternoon and evening in the pub discussing this and concluded 'it was to stop your hand slipping off'

 

[Carlosfandango]

What's blue and doesn't fit anymore??..... A dead epileptic.

 

[ian.settle1]

What's blue and doesn't fit anymore??..... A dead epileptic.

That's sick

 

[telectrix]

what's black and goes " miaowww splatt"?

a cat in a microwave.

 

[shanky887614]

What's blue and doesn't fit anymore??..... A dead epileptic.

that is sick, i was working with a guy when they had a fit and they do go blue

 

[Carlosfandango]

It is sick, but it's just a joke!

 

[Pete999]

what's black and goes " miaowww splatt"?

a cat in a microwave.

That's even sicker, but funny

 

[telectrix]

what do you do if your wife has an epileptic fit in the bath?



chuck the washing in.

 

[Barry White]

When I was a kid my farther used to let me save my pocket money in the special moneybox under the stairs :ack2: I was 15 when I realised it was a gas meter

 

[Barry White]

A Geordie goes with a Wigan prostitute. Drops his pants, gets his dick out and the lass says "Bye eck! That's a gud un!" he says "What's a gud un?"
She replies "It means a big one"
She drops her knickers and he says "Why eye! That's a canny un!"
She says what's a "canny un?"
He replies " A bloody big valley that cowboys ride through!"

 

[steve50]

http://www.icq.com/img/friendship/static/card_7944_rs.swf

 

[Pete999]

http://www.icq.com/img/friendship/static/card_7944_rs.swf

Nice, very festive

 

[Barry White]

http://www.icq.com/img/friendship/static/card_7944_rs.swf

good will to all men at xmas????????????????????????????????????????????????????????