Things an Electrician would never say

[Kamikaze]

Happiness is hiding and not been found by the boss or the client.

 

[Kamikaze]

God damn, I'm good enough to do this for a living!

 

[JD6400]

"Oh" why didn't you say that you did 6 months of a electrical apprenticeship 40 years ago , i would have got you to design the job from the start instead of me waisting all that time on such inferior design that you want changed to a totally out of date and illegal one now we are nearly finished .

 

[JD6400]

Or the other one , that i actually had !
Yes i see what you mean , your son obviously knows far more about all things to do with electrical contracting and rewiring your house than myself or any one on my company , being a aircraft service technician who does a bit of diy at weekends ! You are so right those metal switches and fittings don't need a earth , and we should just connect our new cable up to the two core orange flymo flex that you both pulled in when you built this death trap of a extension

 

[RexT]

Yes madam the problem is that it is all this green energy we are importing from Spain.
The tides out, (eddy currents) the suns gone in and theres no wind, so thats why your cooker grill is not working.
Of course fo £100 I will fix it.
Best wishes
rex

 

[Kamikaze]

That's why they call me Mr. Flash!

 

[RexT]

Hi Guys,

How about:

'Yes it is a struggle, thanks for asking me to quote on adding your new socket. I have driven 50 miles miles to give this free quote and am really pleased to hear that you were just thinking about it and your nephew just wondered how much he should charge you'

'No it is really no bother. I am so chuffed that your payment policy is £1 per week over 20 years, interest free'

'Yes I advertise in Yellow Pages and have got more work than I can shake a stick at'

'I charge £15 an hour and just love paying for all the damage you are stiching me up with'

'I have fixed the dodgy light in your kitchen so I guess I must be responsible for all the other problems your house has before I arrived'

'Paper is a good insulator taht's why I have paper mached your sockets and lights'

'Why use the correct tool when a hammer and nail works as well - pity about the leak'

'Its the plumbers / carpet fitters / neighbours cat that has caused this and by god I am going to make a packet'

'Dont worry your insurance company dont mind cowboys, I give you a receipt when I get home. My address? Yes its the roundabout at Milton Keynes'

Best wishes

Rex

 

[Kamikaze]

So.... tell me about your electrical problem madam, only this time more slowly. :wink_smile:

 

[Robinwood]

Thats a great share !

 

[Paul.M]

Hi Guys,

How about:

'Yes it is a struggle, thanks for asking me to quote on adding your new socket. I have driven 50 miles miles to give this free quote and am really pleased to hear that you were just thinking about it and your nephew just wondered how much he should charge you'

'No it is really no bother. I am so chuffed that your payment policy is £1 per week over 20 years, interest free'

'Yes I advertise in Yellow Pages and have got more work than I can shake a stick at'

'I charge £15 an hour and just love paying for all the damage you are stiching me up with'

'I have fixed the dodgy light in your kitchen so I guess I must be responsible for all the other problems your house has before I arrived'

'Paper is a good insulator taht's why I have paper mached your sockets and lights'

'Why use the correct tool when a hammer and nail works as well - pity about the leak'

'Its the plumbers / carpet fitters / neighbours cat that has caused this and by god I am going to make a packet'

'Dont worry your insurance company dont mind cowboys, I give you a receipt when I get home. My address? Yes its the roundabout at Milton Keynes'

Best wishes

Rex

Rex I agree on sooooo many of your points.

 

[Paul.M]

Sorry, you've had a second opinion from your uncle that knows an electrician who lives next door to his wifes ante that knows some one that knows about electricity and I'm wrong?

 

[Burnt Fingers]

I agree. Its your land, its underground, why would it need an earth.

 

[dcelectrical]

Zao shang hao, wow i didn't realise you could tap into the mains down there power you home irrigation and ventilation system, but i must say those plants seem to have so many buds on them, and by the way can you smell something it's making me a little light headed

 

[dcelectrical]

great, your dad fitted this consumer unit, i can confirm it is fully compliant with BS7671, if he wants to give up being a forklift truck driver he would sail through his training, in fact i don't even think he should bother with all that college stuff.

 

[Kamikaze]

I always wanted to be an electrician. I don't know how long I could've been a vet for, before I got bored and started shagging stuff.