Things an Electrician would never say

[Clink]

You say a mate did the rewire, but you have the forms all ready. Where do you want me to sign .....

 

[pyrosym]

Hello, Flaming habitats how can I help you...

..........

let me see I'll find out for you please hold......

..........

Mork calling Orson come in Orson!

 

[Kamikaze]

Sometimes I read the regs book just for fun.

 

[focusphil]

where's the sweeping brush I must clean my mess up !!!

 

[dim_bulb]

where's the sweeping brush I must clean my mess up !!!

I can tell that ones truthful as its called a broom

 

[markc123]

Blocked ure sh!tter love, think you need the plumber,

Oh and i wouldn't go in there for a week.

 

[pyrosym]

3D Glasses help with identifying conductors in lofts and the more junction boxes you use the easier it is for everyone. I'd recommend at least a dozen per circuit so you have plenty of choice later on!

 

[telectrix]

I can tell that ones truthful as its called a broom

of course.... look after your broom. we don't want your mother-in-law starring in air crash investigations.

 

[markc123]

*cough cough* *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

BREW NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[knasher]

Yes, this is perfectly normal practice madam. It clearly states in BS7671 that after a fuseboard change, the new fuseboard main switch shall be operated with the use of a 5' broom handle after rigorous testing procedures have been followed.

 

[telectrix]

of course it's been fully tested. i switched it on, it didn't go bang, and it worked. QED.

 

[Vegelen]

It's not smoking, it's just getting hot, everything is cushty, chill.

 

[dim_bulb]

I've left my tool box at home can I use knife in the cutlery drawer, just got to get the cover of this...

 

[lodmoorhill]

I like the way your builder has run all the cables in the cavity. No, nothing wrong with that 15th edition board. The way he's hidden that domestic cable for your outside lights and sockets, behind the plant pots in your garden is a particular stroke of genius. And I'm so glad he pointed out to you that RCD protection is only required inside the house.
And my, my.......re-using all that old cable to save you money! He certainly is a talented man.

Yes, that's right, I'm only here to issue a certificate. No need to waste money paying me for all that fiddly installation work, when your builder is more than capable. Yes, same deal as the builder sir, all in cash. No need to make the VATman any richer.

Is the builder around, by the way? Oh! moving your boiler at the moment, to avoid all that Gas Safe nonsense? He's certainly providing value for money there, sir. No point in wasting money on us ancillary tradesmen, when it's all straightforward stuff. That's right sir, were just a bunch of overpriced charlatans. Thank god for builders, eh?

 

[ben sparkz]

ha ha quality, we have all had those kind of customers mate